


Secret Serum

by NeiNing



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003)
Genre: Ashes, Blood, Blood and Injury, Brothers, Cage, Cat, Choking, Comfort, Death, Eating, Fear, Gore, Injury, M/M, Maniac, Mutation, Near Death, Panic Attack, Rescue, Serum, Shock, Surgery, Training, Violence, blood thirsty, fangs, insane, raw meat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:13:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25189258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeiNing/pseuds/NeiNing
Summary: Boys go to stop Bishop and his plans, but something unexpected happens and then things go horribly wrong.
Relationships: Leonardo/Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 25
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A story which I wrote 3.5 years ago. I realized I hadn't post it here yet, so I'm gonna fix that.  
> And since this fic is old already, I need to re-read it and fix writing mistakes (since there's some of them). My English wasn't so good 3.5 years ago :'D
> 
> I add tags as I keep publishing this.

Wind howled through New York city at dark night, headlights showing the way on the road as turtles were heading out of the town. Their destination was Bishop’s lab, far away outside of the city, since there had been leaking rumors, - online -, that mutation tests were done there and boys wanted to stop it right to begin with.

Turning headlights off Donatello parked battle shell as quietly as possible behind few rocky and sand covered hills where they could sneak in Bishop’s base. Running silently in perfect line turtles broke into the base.

“That was super easy...”

“Way too easy.”

“Keep your eyes open, boys.”

Nodding 3 youngest brothers followed their leader right behind him, hearing footsteps' echoing sound coming from the long hallway behind the corner. Giving fast signal with his hand, Leonardo hid with his brothers in big air tunnel, eyeing guards walking past them. One of them stopped and looked at the air tunnel’s entry but shook his head and ran to catch up with his partner.

Listening the steps fading away, Leo dared to drop out from their hiding place, looking over his shoulders seeing his siblings there behind him ready to go. Nodding once to each other they kept going, coming face to face with a huge door.

“Is this the place, Donnie?”

Leonardo’s eyes kept studying iron door while Don kept staring down his device, nodding.

“Yes. According to this map Bishop’s lab should be behind that door.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Raphael growled, his hands eagerly going to his sais already.

“We can’t just rush in. There might, and most surely, is traps. Don, can you scan the area?”

“Not from behind the door. We need to get it open first.”

“Any ideas how, braniac?”

“Um, guys…?”

All 3 of them turned to look at Michelangelo who stood next to the door, pointing a panel in front of him. “You think this would be the key to get in?”

His brothers came to him, Raph smirking widely as he slapped his little brother on the shoulder.

“Nice job, Mikey. You’re helpful for once.”

“Hey, I’m always helpful!”

“Shh!” Leo’s strict look turned them both silent as Donnie was working his magic with technology and sure thing, green light with small ‘peep’ sound appeared on the screen and the door opened. Carefully stepping inside, boys stayed right in front of the door, watching it closing.

“Okay, Don. Can you NOW scan the place for traps?”

“I’m on it.”

Keeping his blue eyes strictly on Donatello and his work Leonardo waited, waited, and waited. Finally his olive green brother sighed with a smile.

“It’s all clear. There isn’t even security cameras.”

“Then let’s move. First; examine everything and collect everything what you think might be dangerous to leave here. Then destroy things what are dangerous to leave here as well and then we are out.”

All 3 of them nodded to their fearless leader as they spread all around the room, collecting whatever they though to be needed. Don ran to computers, inserting memory stick in and copying all files in it, then deleting them off from the computer. After checking all other files if there was anything else what he should take, he found none, so he dropped his data memory stick in his satchel. Digging another memory stick from his belt Don inserted it in and installed virus in the whole system what deleted everything from those computers.

Leonardo was not far from him during whole progress. Donatello saw from the corner of his eye how his brother was eyeing some books, prints and notes. Part of the notes Leo folded inside of the book and some prints he rolled together, coming behind Donnie and placing them in his satchel. Silently whispering Leo leaned forward, looking at the screen over Don’s shoulder.

“Anything?”

“Some interesting information what I will read later. Right now I’m making sure the virus what April and I created will do its work.”

“Good. I go check Mikey and Raph and then we can leave. I don’t want to spend more time here than needed.”

Turning on his heels Leo approached Raph who was standing still, staring up at those huge capsules what held rotten bodies in them.

“Disgusting.”

“Indeed.”

“Why the hell he’s trying ta play some God?”

“I think he’s trying to create human mutants or super humans to destroy us and protect Earth and people.”

“But we ain’t bad guys here. We protect people too.”

“I think Bishop really doesn’t care about that. In his eyes we are mutants, nothing else matters.”

“If I may interrupt...” Donatello said as he came to his older brothers. “I believe he might be trying to build himself a better body as well.” Looking down on few papers in his hands what Leo had earlier place in his satchel, Don continued. “I mean all these notes are about how his body is collapsing, falling apart, and how desperately he’s been trying to find a cure for it.”

“That sounds pretty lame if you ask me.”

“None asked from ya, Mikey.”

Mikey pouted and leaned against a bed, what had been lifted up, when it suddenly made a sound, leather belts came out of it, going directly at Mikey. Mikey screamed high and loud and then his whole world was spinning. He heard Leo’s voice calling Raph with Don’s, and Raph’s voice was screaming Mikey to get away and then – Horrible and painful yell.

Snapping his eyes open and sitting up Mikey saw how those belts had captured his hot headed brother and long spikes had pierced his body, arms and legs. Only part what wasn’t pierced was his head and neck. Leonardo rushed to his brother’s side horrified look on his face as Don ran behind the bed looking at the wires.

“Hurry, Don! Do something! It’s killing him!”

“I’m trying, I’m trying! I just can’t shut it down since then those spikes would remain in his body. I need to figure how to get them out first!”

“I don’t care! Just do your thing and get him free!”

His heart was hammering so hard in his chest that Michelangelo barely heard a word what his brothers were yelling at each other. Still sitting on the floor watching in horror his brother’s suffering twisted his stomach. If it wasn’t for Raph, he would be there instead…

Finally Don lost his nerves when Leonardo next to him kept pushing him, yelling at him. Taking his bo from his shell Donatello started to beat the wires and hard drivers - and soon smoke started to float in the air. Leo feared the worst, but when Raphael screamed in pain again, all those spiked withdraw back inside of the bed and he was free.

Pulling Raphael on the floor, Leonardo kept his little brother in his arms, Don kneeling across him.

“Call battle shell, Don. We can’t and won’t carry him in this condition.”

Nodding Don took remote and pressed a button. While waiting their ride to arrive, he checked Raphael’s wounds.

“It seems his most important organs are not damaged… I hope… But he has lose a lot of blood.”

“We better hurry then. Mikey, you will drive us home when battle shell arrives! … Mikey?”

Seeing his little brother still sitting on the floor looking all pale and staring at his feet, Leonardo raised his voice. He was shocked too, but he couldn’t let it take over him now.

“Michelangelo!”

Blinking rapidly Mikey lifted his head, meeting Leo’s strict gaze. “I need you, Mikey. You drive battle shell while Don and I will do our best to help Raph. Can you do it? Can you drive?”

“...Y-yes, I can.”

“Can you?!”

“YES!”

“Good.”

Battle Shell’s rumbling and alarm’s sounds turned more and more stronger as it approached them, finally smashing through the door. Leonardo and Donatello carried injured Raphael inside the back area, but Mikey was nowhere to be seen.

“Mikey!”

“Come on, Mikey, we need to go!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Mikey screamed as he ran and jumped at driver’s seat, pressing gas pedal all the way down.

Looking at the mirror Mikey saw anger on Leo’s face. Their mission had been quite successful, but Raph getting badly injured and Mikey himself getting too shocked about it, had almost ruined everything. Leo was also angry because they had been discovered because of battle shell had been needed to call for help.

Don, however, looked worried and Raph… To Mikey it looked like he wasn’t breathing anymore.

“… Is he…?”

“Still breathing, but weakly. He lost so much blood. Mikey, we have to hurry.”

“Roger.”

Thanks for Don and his updates. what he had done to battle shell, its speed had increased and they were able to escape easily, leaving angry Bishop and his guards behind. Hurrying in the lab, Bishop’s anger turned into a shock when he noticed all the damage what turtles had done, but most importantly - his secret serum was missing from the holder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mikey comes to the rescue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about writing mistakes. English isn't my native language and I'm self-taught when it comes to English. Also, this fic was written 3.5 years ago so my writing way, back then, was quite lame. I am re-reading each chapter before publishing it. I will do my best to fix mistakes and, perhaps, writing / editing some parts to be better. No big changes, but some so that the text / story is more fluid so to say.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated! <3

Master Splinter was watching his daily soap opera shows when the elevator’s door, what leaded to garage, opened and battle shell drove at the other end of the lair. Splinter stood up while being not pleased with the boys. Many times he had made it clear that battle shell wasn’t welcome in the lair. However, when his eyes saw Donatello and Leonardo carrying half dead Raphael in the infirmary room, his heart skipped few beats, anger turning into a worry and fear.

Old rat rushed after his sons, Michelangelo being the last who entered the room. Seeing Raphael being placed on the bed twisted his guts. Mikey wanted to stay, but Don ordered his brothers out. Splinter was allowed to stay since he had assisted him in surgeries before. Listening the sound of clock ticking in the silent lair, Michelangelo and Leonardo sat on the couch. One staring at his lap and other dark TV screen. It had been almost 3 hours now and still not a single word about how things were going.

Finally the door opened and Splinter walked out, but instead of coming to say anything to his other sons, he made his way right into bathroom to wash his bloody hands. Turning their gazes at the doorway of infirmary, a shadow moved inside the room and soon Don came to the doorway.

“Leo, could you come here for a second?”

Without hesitation Leonardo walked to his brother, still trying to keep his steps as normal as possible instead of running. His way to Don seemed and felt so long but, he finally made it. Donatello closed the door behind them partly and Mikey saw this as his chance. Sneaking behind the door he waited and the silence in the room made his stomach hurt. Finally Leonardo broke the silence with his voice.

“How is he?”

Don sighed long while keeping his head down, raising it up with deep inhale. He needed to be honest with his brother - and that’s what he was going to be.

“We are losing him, Leo.”

It felt like an icicle had just pierced Mikey’s heart when he heard those words...! And Leo… His eyes were wide and it took him time to get himself together, becoming his strict-self.

“We are not losing him.”

“I’m sorry, Leo, but that’s the truth.”

“No it’s not! It’s your job to heal him so do it!”

“What do you think I have been trying to do these past few hours?! I have done all what I can but… His life is slipping between my fingers...” Don’s head fell back down and his shoulders were trembling with his voice. “I have done everything what I can, Leo. I have done my everything...”

Raising those bloody hands on his eyes Don started to sank on the cool floor on his knees, Leo silently repeating “no” to himself over and over again, making his way next to Raphael’s body. Taking a hold on Raph’s hand shocked Leonardo. Oh, how cold his brother already was... He indeed seemed to be giving up.

No! NO! This wouldn’t do! This wasn’t the plan! This shouldn’t had happened!  
Leaning forward Leonardo kissed Raph’s cool forehead, feeling tiny breeze of his brother’s breathing hitting his neck. Whispering silently Leonardo kept his lips against that pale green skin, which once had been emerald green.

“Come on, Raph. Fight. You can do it. You can’t… You can’t leave us. Fight, my brother, fight.”

Leo's hold on Raphael’s hand turned more tight as he fought against those burning tears in his eyes. He couldn’t let them fall here and now. He had to remain strong and have faith if others didn’t. Hearing the door opening both Leo and Don let their teary eyes meet with Mikey’s light blue eyes as he stepped in, holding class capsule in his hand. In it was light purple serum.

“I… Took this from Bishop’s lap. M-maybe it will help Raph?”

Leo watched as Don’s expression turned a bit more hopeful as he got on his feet, rushing to his little brother, hugging him. Without saying a word Don started to examine the serum while Leo’s gaze returned back on Mikey who, obviously, was feeling bad what had happened.

“Where did you found that exactly?”

“It was on the stand near by the spot where you found all those notes and prints about Bishop’s body. I thought… I thought it might would be bad thing to leave in Bishop’s hands so I took it.”

Leonardo sighed heading to his little brother, stopping right in front of him. Gently placing his hand on Michelangelo's shoulder, Leonardo managed to give him a small smile.

“You did well, Michelangelo. You did well.”

In return Mikey managed to smile back.

“Leo, come check this out, quick!”

Hurrying next to Don, who just called him, Donatello moved away from microscope, giving room for Leo to see what was going on. For a some reason that purple serum, mixed to Raphael’s blood drop, was creating more cells and blood. Looking at Don in surprise Leo saw so much hope in Don’s eyes.

“Is this going to save him?”

“Yes, it seems so! But… I don’t know does it have any side effects or anything.”

Looking down between them Leo’s eyes wondered all around as his thoughts raced in his mind against the time - which was running out. Finally his firm gaze met Don’s and he nodded.

“Let’s go for it. We indeed don’t know what it will do, but it’s our best chance now. If it gives us even a little bit more time to help Raph to recover by giving him our own blood little by little, we use it.”

Don nodded and took one last look of the example, gasping. Moving away from Leo’s way, he too took a second look.

“What the shell?!”

“His cells are mutating...”

“Second mutation...”

Silence filled the room since they all had been there before, but in that time it had been Don who had mutated. Did they really want to take another chance with second mutation? And what it would mutate Raph to?

Hearing walking stick hitting the ground gently with the sounds of steps, turtle brothers saw their father entering the room. Judging by the look on Splinter's face, he'd heard everything.

“I never encourage anyone to play God, but saving your brother is all what matters. We have been in difficult situations before and we always have survived. As a family, we will survive from this too.”

All of them clearly wanted to ask more questions and be absolutely sure this was their only and best solution, but none dared to speak. It was Leonardo who took the serum capsule and held it towards Don.

“Do it. No matter what it takes, we will save him. He would do anything to save us.”

“Even mutate us a second time.” Mikey whispered.

Don took a look at them all, even Raph, making up his mind. Rushing to get syringe from his lab, Don returned back with one - full of purple serum. Stepping next to Raph’s body Don took better hold on the syringe while his hand trembled, but he couldn’t make another move because of the shivers and trembling.

Leonardo appeared next to him, taking gentle hold on Don’s arm, helping him to give the shot and then… They waited… For nothing. Maybe they should have given Raph some more of it? Suddenly Raph gasped loud and his body was trembling violently. For his own safety Donatello and Leonardo tied his arms on the bed while Michelangelo and Splinter tied his legs. Now, that Raphael was kept in place, Splinter went to Don’s lab to get a blanket from Don’s day bed, soon coming back to infirmary to cover his son with it.

It took a while, but Raphael’s body soon calmed and stopped trembling, his skin’s color starting to turn back to strong emerald green, breathing seeming to turn more stronger too. His wounds were begin to heal on their own now, too. In some kind of way all 4 of them, now, could sigh in relief. However, they still were on guard since so far there hadn’t been any signs of second mutation.

\- -

Something was hammering in his head so hard… His heart? So... Strong sound. Raphael never hadn’t heard anything like it before, but there was something else too. He couldn’t think clearly what it could had been, but he knew one thing – he was feeling weird.

Opening his eyes slowly he hissed, shutting his eyes tight when the light shined right into his eyes.

“Oh, sorry!” Don’s voice said and the light was turned off. Daring to open his eyes again, more carefully this time, Raphael met those lovely brown eyes looking at him in relief with small smile on his face. “I heard you were making sounds so I came to check on you and then you opened your eyes.”

Don couldn’t help himself as he bend down and hugged his woken brother who hissed in pain.

“Sorry, sorry! Did I hurt you bad?”

“Njah, just a little bit.” Raph smirked at the genius. “It’s nice ta see ya, bro.”

Wiping the corner of his eye so called ‘braniac’ nodded with smile.

“It’s so nice to see you too. You… You scared all of us so bad. W-we almost l-lost you...” Donnie’s voice trembled again as he remembered that horrible moment from yesterday.

“What? Ya trying ta tell me I almost died?”

“That’s exactly what he said.”

Leonardo came there with his usual firm steps and despite the fact Raph and Don both waited to see smile on Leo’s face, he looked as strict as ever.

“How are you feeling?”

Confused at first by Leo’s question, Raph answered to him; “Kinda good. Feeling a bit weird but that’s all.”

“Could be because of blood lost.”

“Or the serum.”

“Hold it! What serum!?”

As Raph tried to jump up to sit, he was pulled back on the mattress instantly. Surprised by this, Raphael tried to move his arms and legs but they were tied.

“What the shell is this shit?!”

“Calm down, Raph. I will tell you everything. Just calm down.”

Hot breathing was burning his airways as his temper rose, but Don’s voice calmed him. Raphael snorted, but laid back down as Donatello started to undo bed’s belts what held his brother down. Filling Raph with all info what he had, with Leo still being in the room, Donnie helped Raphael to sit up, checking his eyes once more with small flashlight.

“So ya are saying ya used Bishop’s serum on me - not even knowing what it does?!”

“Yes, but thanks to it you are alive and so far there hasn’t been any signs of mutation.”

“And what if that happens, huh, Donnie-boy?! Have ya forgot what happened when ya mutated?!”

“We were fully aware of it and we decided to take that chance. We love you and didn’t want to lose you. You mean a lot to us all. Even more than you give yourself a credit for.”

Leo’s voice was crystal clear and firm and it was pure honesty what he just had said so Raphael couldn’t argue with it.

“And what do ya guys do if I mutate again? Run ta Bishop and beg him ta save me?”

“If we have to, yes.”

Raphael growled in frustration as he looked at Donatello, who was checking the area where he had give the shot, but it looked perfectly normal.

“I’d say you’re free turtle.”

“Ugh, finally! My body feels heavy and needs some exercise.”

“That reminds me, Raphael. I will forbid you for going out to topside any time soon, alone or with company.”

“What the shell?! Why?!”

“Because we are not sure about the second mutation. What if it happens when you’re out there alone or with Casey and attack on humans or him? Perhaps even kill him? Is that what you want?”

Knowing Raphael didn’t want any of that Leo watched how Raphael growled, his chin moving from side to side, but eventually Raphael gave in knowing Leo was right. He agreed to stay at home - for now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is back to himself, but Klunk is nowhere to be found...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about writing mistakes. I have done my best to fix them - at least in some way.  
> English isn't my native language and I'm self-taught when it comes to English.
> 
> Comments are much appreciated! <3

Few days had passed and Raphael seemed to be his normal self. No second mutation or any other symptoms from Bishop’s mystery serum - which was huge relief.

The day started like any other as Leonardo woke up at 6:30am and started to make his way downstairs. Entering the kitchen Leo prepared tea to himself and his father what they enjoyed in Splinter’s room later. Around 8am Leonardo walked with his father in the kitchen, noticing Raphael was there with Donatello, both already eating their breakfasts, but Michelangelo was missing.

“Mikey! Get up and come eat your breakfast!”

Leonardo shouted from kitchen’s doorway. It took 10 more minute before Mikey appeared in the kitchen yawning out loud, wishing good morning to his family members who returned his wishing. Picking up Klunk’s bowl Mikey looked around, surprised for not seeing his adopted cat anywhere.

“Hey, has any of you seen or feed Klunk yet?”

None of them hadn’t which was odd. Klunk never left the lair, but in the other hand he had lots of hiding places in there.

“Perhaps he isn’t hungry just yet.”

“Hmmm, maybe but it’s not like him. Oh well, I’ll feed him after the training.”

Finishing his own bowl of cereals Mikey raced Raph in the dojo, getting his shell playfully kicked by Raph in there as Don and Leo entered. Master Splinter had decided not to join his sons this morning, but instead go and meditate on his own in his room. Boys took their time, spending first 30 minute doing warm ups, then an hour doing katas and then last hour training with weapons.

When the time finally came to end the practice, Mikey was the one to make his way out of the dojo to feed Klunk, but he was still nowhere to be seen. Hours passed and it really started to worry everyone since it wasn’t normal at all for Klunk to disappear like that.

“What if he has sneaked in the elevator, there to garage and escaped?” Leo wondered rather out loud to himself.

“No, Klunk would never leave me.”

“But it’s possible, ain’t it?”

“You just said it because you’re big meany, Raphie.”

Raphael growled as he raised his fist to smack Michelangelo, but Donatello's voice stopped them.

“Guys, stop it. Mikey… I think I found Klunk.”

“What? Where?! Where is he?!”

Don sighed with painful expression on his face as he opened a towel in his arms, revealing orange cat's foot. His brothers let out shocked gasp as Mikey screamed, taking that leg in his trembling arms.

“I… I’m sorry, Mikey.”

“N-No… Klunk! Who have done this?! Who could have sneaked in our lair and kill my cat!?”

Tears poured down on those light green cheeks as Mikey sobbed and cried uncontrollably, keeping his eyes on beloved Klunk’s leg while Don rubbed his shoulder in comforting way. Leonardo too showed his comfort to his little brother, with Raphael, who pulled Mikey in a gentle hug.

“I’m sorry ya lost that cat. I… I really liked Klunk too, ya know.”

Mikey wasn’t in condition to talk so he just nodded few times against Raphael’s shoulder as Master Splinter approached them all, asking what was going on. His sons filled him with information, showing one leg too. Master Splinter was horrified just like everyone else, but he still found words of comfort to Michelangelo.

“My son… I cannot describe how shocked we all are, how horrible this event is but rest assured, Klunk is now free from this world and you can always meditate and connect with him. He lives in your heart, my son.”

“Yeah and beside, you gave him a good home.”

“Y-you think so, D?”

“We all do, Mikey.” Leonardo assured his little brother.

“And guess what, ya can always adopt a new kitty from the street. When and if ya ever feel ready that is. I bet many kittens out there would love ta have a home with ya in here.”

Rubbing his running nose on the back of his hand Mikey only nodded, turning to look at his father.

“Master Splinter, can I keep this? His leg. I… I can’t let him go.”

“Michelangelo. In life you must accept death and learn to let go. However, in this case I would like to recommend something else. Donatello, do you still have that old oven what works in garage?”

“Yes, what about it?”

“You two then, come with me.”

His sons didn’t ask any more questions as they followed Splinter to garage, leaving Raphael and Leonardo on their spots in the middle of the lair. Raphael, however, kept seeing from the corner of his eye how Leo kept looking at him. Getting pissed off by that Raphael spun around on his heels, facing his cold gazed brother.

“What?!”

“I think you went a bit too far with that ‘adopt a new kitty’ line. We just found out Klunk’s dead and only part left of him was his leg and you went and said something already about a new cat.”

“Hey, I know I ain’t as smart as ya are, oh your Highness, but I didn’t mean anything bad with that! Wanted ta comfort my little bro and tell him there’s many other cats who would give their tails if they could live here with Mike!”

“I appreciate it you think like that and want to support and comfort Michelangelo, but you could have waited a bit longer before suggesting that.”

“Why the shell ya are always lecturing me?! If I ain’t giving comfort or support, ya lecture me because of it and if I do, ya lecture me about it too! Fuck ya, Leo! Leave me alone since nothing what I say or do is never okay or good enough for ya!”

It wasn’t something what hadn’t happen before and it was just another time, again, to see Raphael stomping away from Leo and locking himself in his room to lift weights to calm himself.

\- - 

Weird smell had started to fill the lair and Leo couldn’t stop to wonder what Splinter, Mikey and Don were doing in the garage but his answers came to him with the 3 of them. Splinter looked most satisfied and so did Don and Mikey… He kept carrying this small bottle with little ash pile in it. Leonardo realized it was the ashes of Klunk’s leg.

“You can place them wherever you want.” Leonardo said when Mikey was more closer to him. Raising his bloodshot eyes up Mikey stared in Leo’s eyes a moment before nodding.

“I… I think I will keep him in my room for now… On my comic shelf. He gets the best place in it.”

“That sounds very good.”

Awkward silence was slowly filling the lair and it was clear some fresh air was needed. Splinter suggested his sons to go out, but not too far away. Donatello and Leonardo were naturally up to it and they were sure Raphael would appreciate it too, but Mikey wasn’t in the mood. Instead he asked could he stay at home with Splinter - and naturally his father understood and allowed this.

After needed preparations to go topside, Don went to get Raph from his room while Leo waited at the door.

“Hey, Raph. Leo and I are heading out with Father’s permission. Want to join us?”

For a moment there was a silence so Donatello knocked the door, hearing a lock turn soon after. Turning the knob the door opened and Don stepped in, seeing Raph going back to his weight bench. Sitting down Raphael waited for his brother with purple bandanna come to him. While closing the door Donatello could tell something was troubling his brother. Kneeling down and placing his hand on Raphael’s knee, Don looked up at his brother’s face with slight worry.

“Is everything okay?”

“… Ya and Leo talked about second mutation when I woke up.”

“… Yes?”

“Just what exactly ya meant with it?”

“I – I’m not sure. Any kind of mutation I guess.”

“Does this count?”

Raphael opened his mouth wide open, showing long fangs both up and down. Fascinated by this Don stood up and came closer, getting a better look of them.

“Well, I would say this counts. Is there any other transformations?”

“Like my dick being bigger?”

Raphael chuckled, but he turned back more serious when Don gave him a little look.

“No what I know. Just these fangs. It’s been hard of getting used on them.”

“I see. Well, if that’s the only transformation what you have gone through then I’m most pleased with the result. Can I ask when they appeared?” Don explained happily and sometimes, when Don was happy about something, it did creep Raphael out – even now.

“This morning… So I ain’t have ta worry about this?”

“No. Be at ease since this isn’t anything so serious. We were expecting you to transform like I did.”

“Yeah, ta be honest I was afraid I might would had mutated like ya did, but heck I’m happy it didn’t happen ta me.”

Nodding to his brother Don assured once more that Raph would be fine while helping Raphael on his feet. Together they made their way down to Leonardo, who was still waiting for them. Opening the door they said bye to Mikey and Splinter and faded into the darkness of the night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It maybe wasn't the best decision to take Raphael out of the lair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picture was the inspiration for me to write this fic 3.5 years ago.  
> I sadly don't know the original artist, but if you do, please let me know so that I can credit them!
> 
> (WARNING! NOT FOR SENSITIVE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T HANDLE HORROR, BLOOD, MUTATION, FANGS ETC!)  
> https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/1794/1794935_NeiNing_tumblr_oacyddcxf51rdkqt9o1_1280.png

Jumping from roof to roof it seemed to be very original night run, like usually, but no ninja could ever sneak away from Leonardo’s super high senses. Easily he picked the sounds of steps following them and fast peek over his shoulder confirmed his senses' information; They were followed by the Foot.

“Guys, company!”

“Ah, just what I needed.” Raphael was pleased as he stopped regardless Leo’s commands to keep running. Cursing under his breath Leonardo stopped too, taking his katanas from his back on his hands, preparing to fight Don by his side with his bo.

Foot ninjas stopped too and all of them waited for turtles to make a first move - and Raphael gladly gave it to them. Launching towards them Raphael laughed with huge grin, and the fight was on. Leonardo and Donatello joined him, keeping each others close and united so that if any of them needed help, they would be near to help.

Under Leo’s command boys never fought to kill – only to knock their enemies out and run, but this time it wasn’t going to be so easy and they all would find it out soon why.

As Leonardo jumped past a group of Foot ninjas, cutting them all a bit with his blades, Raphael froze. All of the sudden a sight of blood and smell of it overtook his mind and body. Bending down while making deep and creepy hiss mix growl sounds made both Donatello and Foot ninjas near him stop.

Don’s eyes grew wider as he witnessed how those fangs in Raphael’s mouth grew bigger, his eyes turned red - having so horrifying blood thirsty insanity in them. Taking few steps back Don’s hold on his bo tightened and he couldn’t deny it – he was so scared he could have dropped his shell and run.

Foot ninjas behind Leonardo looked at each other in slight fear and confusion - until one of them dared to move towards their target. Raphael launched himself past Leonardo on one of the guys who was bleeding. Screams of horror and pain filled the air as Raph sank his teeth in, and through, that ninja’s neck, shaking his head like an animal with his prey, spraying blood all around - finally pulling ninja’s head off.

Not being satisfied with his first prey Raphael went after another bleeding ninja, doing exactly the same thing to him too. Others, by now, started to run away, but third one fell as Raphael’s another prey - and this time Raphael took his sweet time to lick and suck all the blood what he could get out of the body.

Last ninja, however, wanted his revenge so he threw one throwing knife at Raphael. The blade flew so near Leo’s head that it made small bleeding cut on his cheek, finally hitting Raphael’s shell, but it didn't do anything to the turtle. Shocked by this the Foot ninja took off before he would get eaten like his friend.

Leonardo watched, in shock, how Raphael slowly turned to look at him after finishing his meal, and his eyes widened once more when he saw blood trail on Leo’s cheek.

Licking his bloody lips and teeth, Raphael made so creepy hissing growls that no any horror movies had ever been able to do such sounds. He started to approach his brother, his eyes wide with madness - locked on his brother’s blood. Leonardo, however, stood still, staying as normal as he could even that his heart was beating in fear, and he was sure Raphael was able to hear it. But still he couldn’t show his fear. He hoped his calmness would calm his mad brother, but it didn’t… Raphael jumped forward and Leonardo went head-on with his brother. The strength of Raphael’s, combined with his weight and speed, was blowing Leo off on his balance, so he slammed hard against the floor, trying to push Raphael off from the shoulders.

Fear in him grew stronger as, still warm and fresh, blood from Raphael’s previous victims dripped on his neck and face while his brother, in this mad state, tried to get his teeth sank in Leonardo’s head - just to get his blood. Those super long teeth came closer every second and Leonardo had to admit his arms were slowly giving in; Raphael’s weight was too much for him to hold on much longer. Hissing Raphael reached his long tongue at the wound, Leonardo turning his head from side to side while screaming out loud in fear.

A flash of purple and brown flashed behind Raphael and familiar bo was soon against Raphael’s throat from behind, Don having firm hold on his weapon. Making loud gag sounds Raphael still refused to withdraw, but when his brains didn’t got enough air because of Don’s hold, he started to lose his own strength and become dizzy.

“Now, Leo, move away. I have him.”

Leo didn’t hesitate as he slid out under Raphael, but Don was still holding Raphael by his throat.

“Don, stop it! You’re choking him!”

“I know what I’m doing, but still hurry! Cover that wound of yours!”

“With what?”

“Anything!”

Looking all around Leo saw nothing useful so he slammed his palm on his wound hoping for the best. When the wound was covered Donatello released Raphael, who’s breathing sounded raspy, and he slowly got on all fours, growling at Don. His eyes soon left his uninteresting brother and they moved on Leo. Much for Raphael’s surprise the blood on Leo’s cheek was gone and it, kind of, confused him. He could smell it but it wasn’t there. Leonardo swallowed and hoped Raphael would look away since he felt how blood drop was making its way down on his cheek and it would leak out between his palm and cheek at any moment.

Just when it seemed Raphael would had lost interest on staring Leonardo, that damn blood drop leaked out and ran down on Leo’s cheek. Raphael’s eyes turned back into pure madness as he attacked on his brother - again - but Donatello was here again to rescue the leader. Placing himself behind Raphael, Donatello once more jumped on Raphael's carapace, sneaking his bo against Raph’s neck - pulling. Not too hard to hurt or kill his brother, but hard enough to block the airways and make Raphael either dizzy or lose consciousness. Soon enough his brother was gasping air and becoming more limp, finally fainting from the previous choking.

Don placed his brother gently on the floor, turning his worried gaze on Leo who seemed to be in shock. Kneeling down and calling his brother did nothing so Don raised his hand, giving few gentle taps on Leo’s cheek which brought his brother’s mind back into reality.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-yeah, I am. How’s Raph?”

“Just unconscious. I thought it would be safer if he was in that state.” Looking over his shoulder Don sighed. “I would hate to leave this mess here, but we need to get Raphael away from here before he comes to. It seems blood triggers something in him and he becomes… what he becomes.”

“… You go with him. I stay here and clean this mess.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to leave you alone.”

“I will be fine. I will help you to get in him the sewers. From there you will be on your own with him. Can you do it?”

“Yes.” Donatello nodded.

Without anymore words he went back to Raphael. With Leo’s help he managed to bring Raphael down from the roof all the way down in the sewers, where he slowly started to take him home. Leonardo, however, felt nasty tossing and turning in his stomach and he had to go behind huge trashcans to throw up. His whole body was trembling and sweating. His mind was racing, all thoughts and emotions going all insane. Closing his eyes Leonardo forced few deep breaths to get himself back on track. He couldn’t let fear control him, take over him. He had a task what he needed to do before dawn.

Climbing back on the roof Leonardo cleaned bodies and blood away as good as he could. Then he went in the safety of sewers, but his every step took him closer to lair and the more closer he got, the more his legs felt like giving in. Damn! Last time when he had been this afraid had been when he was small and afraid of heights and now… He was afraid of his own brother. After seeing what Raphael had done to those ninjas and what he had tried to do to him… Tightness in Leo’s throat turned more stronger and Leonardo had to stop to lean against the wall and breath. Just breath, breath, breath.

A sudden sound of his phone ringing made him jump bad. As soon as he recovered from the scare, Leo picked his phone with trembling hands.

“Yeah?”

“Dude, where are you? Don just came home with Raph and told me to come for you.”

“I’m five blogs away from the lair in Northeast side.”

“Stay there. I’m coming to get you.”

“Sure. Thanks, Mikey.”

Hanging up and sighing deeply Leo allowed himself to slide down against the wall, rest his head on his knees while hugging his legs. What had gone wrong? What had happened to Raph? He never ever hadn’t done anything like that. And he never hadn’t attack on his family like that – except that one time when he almost had hit Mikey with iron pipe, but still… To attack and wanting their blood… To kill because of sight and smell of blood.

Hearing the sound of ‘air scooter’, what Don once had build, Leo lifted his head seeing a light coming towards him. When Mikey parked near Leo, his older brother was already on his feet and approaching him. Without any hints or signs Mikey walked right up to him - and hugged Leo tight which surprised eldest totally.

“I saw that look in your eyes just for a second.”

Leonardo instantly knew what Mikey meant – he had seen the fear in his eyes, but Leo still doubted his little brother knew the truth. Instead of fighting this time Leonardo embraced his little brother, whispering his thanks.

Two brothers shared a moment in complete silence just hugging each other. This had been one of the most horrible days in their lives so far; Klunk’s death to Mikey and then Raphael’s attack on Leo. How much worse it could get?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and April come to visit!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by this art. I sadly don't know the original artist, but if you do, please let me know so that I can credit them!
> 
> Warning! If you can't stand gore, horror, blood, mutation etc. then don't look at the picture! It's not suitable for sensitive people!  
> https://nl.ib.metapix.net/files/screen/1795/1795393_NeiNing_tumblr_oacyddcxf51rdkqt9o1_1280.png

At the lair Donatello had taken Raphael in infirmary, and for safety reasons tied him on the bed with Splinter’s help who, naturally, had been asking what had happened. Donatello had promised to tell everything during his check on Raphael’s neck, but he wanted to wait Mikey and Leo to arrive. Once his two missing brothers were back, the four of them gathered in TV area, taking their seats.

Donatello started to talk as slow and calm as he could, telling everything from his point of view; What he had done, seen and heard. When his turn was over all three pairs of eyes turned on Leonardo and he told his version, not mentioning about the fear what he had – and still - felt towards his younger brother.

Master Splinter stroked his beard as he listened, sighing in sadness. His senses had been telling him something bad was presence after that day when Raphael had got injection of that serum - and now it all was clear to him.

“So only blood triggers his mutation?”

“So far what we do know the answer is yes.” Donatello answered to his father’s question.

“If it will remain that way we still have hopes that he will be more of himself than that what he becomes. Donatello, is there anything what you can do or tell?”

“At this point sadly no. I’m still reading Bishop’s notes and studying that serum, but when I find anything new, I will let you all know about it. And speaking of studying, I really should be in my lab doing just that.”

“Do that, my son. The sooner we get the answers, the better.”

Donatello nodded and tapped his father’s shoulder as he passed him, heading straight into his lab. Michelangelo decided to lay on the floor and sketch pictures about Klunk while Splinter asked Leonardo to follow him in the dojo. Closing the door behind them, Splinter looked directly at his son who seemed to feel a bit uncomfortable.

“Is everything alright, Leonardo?”

“Huh? Oh yes, yes.”

Stepping closer Splinter's voice turned more demanding.

“What are you hiding?”

“I… I don’t understand. I’m not hiding anything.”

“You have vomit. I can smell your breath.”

Realizing he really hadn’t washed his mouth after throwing up at the street, Leo dropped his head and shoulders. Feeling warm hand on his shoulder brought some comfort, but Leonardo decided to keep his head down.

“Talk to me, my son. I can sense something’s troubling you so bad. It has damaged your spirit.”

Sighing in defeat Leonardo sat on the floor with his father, opening up as much as he dared. He didn’t want to talk about it how strong his fear was since he hoped it would be something what would be gone tomorrow.

“It’s just… I’m so shocked of seeing Raphael like that. After seeing what he did to those ninjas and what he tried to do to me. It wasn’t him. I… I have start to regret we gave him that serum even that it saved his life.”

“Leonardo, my son, it has been great shock to all of us and it most surely will be greatest shock to Raphael. You all have always fought to defense yourselves and each other, not to kill if it’s not completely necessary and then this happened. But you must remember it wasn’t Raphael’s own doing, he wasn’t himself. And regretting to help him to live; Ask this from yourself – If you would had known back then what that serum does, would you have use it in order to help your brother or not?”

“I’m… not sure. I’m happy Raphael is alive, but we have a new problem and I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“That’s why you have Donatello and he will assist you. Give him time and I’m sure he will find solution to our problem. And what comes to Raphael, he needs as much support and care as everyone else. Just because he loses himself at the sight of blood doesn’t mean that we, as his family, should turn our backs to him. You might know how he has been feeling, over the years now - like he’s outsider in this family since he’s not like the rest of us. He doesn’t need that. Not now, not ever.”

“Yes, father. I fully understand.”

Still feeling like Leonardo was hiding something, Splinter decided to drop the issue and wait his son to come to talk to him willingly when the time was right. Leaving the dojo Splinter headed to his room, calling for April to come to a visit when she had time. He had a little surprise in his mind for Michelangelo.

– -

At the same time in infirmary Raphael was cursing under his breath. AGAIN he was tied on the bed and he had no damn clue why! Banging his head against the pillow under his head as hard as he could, the door swung open and Donnie came in looking at his brother with slight confusion and worry.

“Raphael?”

“What?!”

“Are you okay?”

“Despite the fact I’m tied on the bed without knowing the reason, I’m just fucking fine!”

“Raphael, please, no need to use that kind of language.” Don’s voice was always so calm when he talked to Raph causing his temper to drop. Even now while Don talked to him during untying him. Sitting up on the edge of the bed Raphael rubbed his wrists, keeping his hawk gaze on his brother who took his own chair and moved it across Raphael, sitting face to face with him.

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?”

“…?? That what you did on the roof.”

“Shell, Donny, just spit it out. I ain’t in the mood of playing some stupid games right now.”

“Don’t you remember what you did?”

“No! … … … What did I do?”

Sitting silently a moment and studying Raphael’s face it became clear it really seemed his brother had no clue what Donatello was talking about.

“Okay then, let me ask this; What’s your last memory?”

“Huh? Uuhh mm…” Looking down at his palms Raphael went silent as he rolled his memories in his head. “I remember how we were running on the roof, Foot was following us and then our fight with them started...”

“And then?”

“Nothing. Next thing I remember is waking up here tied on this damn bed and having blood’s taste in my mouth.”

Sighing deeply Don scratched the back of his head, unsure should he tell what Raphael had done or not, but since Raphael was all part of this... He needed to know.

“You mutated in the middle of the fight.”

If Raph would had been holding anything in his hands, it would have fall instantly on the cool floor as his eyes grew wide in shock.

“I – Mutated? W-what did I do? Was I beaten? 'cause I have a taste of blood in my mouth. ...But I have no bruises or anything… Oh shit, where’s Leo?! Did he got hurt? How about ya?!”

“Easy Raph, I will tell you everything since I think it’s important for you to know even that I think it might shock you.”

And so Raphael sat there all quiet carefully listening how Don told him what had happened and judging by the look on Raphael’s face he had hard times of believing what he just had heard. It turned him silent for almost 15 minute before he spoke with silent voice.

“Now that ya told me what I have done… I have very faint flashes of memories. Mostly just screams and blood spills… And...” All of the sudden earlier memories were coming as blurry images in his head and the horror and regret on his face worried Don greatly.

Watching his brother starting to shake and eyes turning watery, Don heard Raphael’s trembling voice. “Oh shit… T-then that means… All those fucking flashes in my mind...”

“Yes?”

Loud sob escaped between those strong trembling lips and bad feeling was filling Donatello’s soul, but he encouraged Raph to talk.

“… I… If those blurry flash memories are really true… Then… I killed Klunk...” Bending down on his thighs with his elbows, Raphael covered his unleash tears behind his palms. “I fucking ate him…!”

As hard as Don tried to hold back - a gasp escaped from him still. At first he didn’t want to believe it, but seeing Raphael’s reaction and after seeing that what he did on the roof... It really wasn’t such a surprise to hear this… Even that in some way it was. Standing up Donatello made his way to his brother and held him in his arms tightly. He had no words - and even if he did what he could say? ‘It’s okay, it wasn’t your fault’? Or ‘You couldn’t help or control yourself’? There just weren’t right words for this kind of situation.

It took more than fifteen minutes for Raphael to finally calm down enough to speak again.

“What’s happening ta me…?”

“I’m not sure yet but I’m still investigating all this. I promise you I will find a cure.”

“Promise me ya will kill me if I can’t be cured. I ain’t having any desires ta live like this.”

“Don’t say that, Raph.”

“Then what I should say, Donnie?! That I’m gonna live fucking happily ever after as a freak who turned into insane mutant, ate his little bro’s cat and ate the blood of Foot ninjas and almost did the same ta Leo!”

“I will cure you!”

“And what if ya can’t!?”

“I SAID I WILL CURE YOU!”

Staring hard into each others eyes either one of them backed away until Donnie took better control of himself, stepping away from Raphael.

“Listen, Raph. I will help you, but we need to go with this - together - step by step. I also need to do some tests so, for that reason, I need to build a cage for you so that you won’t be able to hurt yourself or any of us.”

“Great, ya will turn me into a cage raging mutant monster.”

“It needs to be done so I can have as much info as possible about you and your condition.”

Sighing in defeat Raph stood up shaking his head. “Ya know what, do what ya want, Donnie. After all ya are the brains and know the best.”

Having more softer look in his eyes now, Raphael shared a small and a bit forced smile with his smart little brother. “I may not like or agree with ya and with things what ya will do but I trust ya after all.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure.”

“… Don’t… Don’t tell Mikey about Klunk, okay? I… I can’t bear any of it. Can’t bear the look on his face and all… Don’t want him ta hate me.”

“No worries, this will be a secret between us.”

“Thanks, Donnie. I knew I could count on ya.”

\---

Later in same day April came to visit with Casey and, like always, they all were happy to see each other, but Raphael was not there to greet them. He had decided to take an early shower to clear his head so while he showered April, Casey and the turtles with Splinter sat comfortably at TV area enjoying drinks and foods.

“So Splinter, why did you call me here exactly?”

“Miss O’Neil, if you do not mind I would like to talk about that with you privately in my room.”

Everyone looked a bit surprised, but April agreed so she went with Splinter while feeling everyone’s eyes on her back. When April and Splinter were out of the sight, boys turned their focus on Casey while Raphael was approaching them from the bathroom.

“So how ya guys have been doing?”

“Quite good. You?” Leo answered politely.

“Good too, but ya know… I found some dead bodies and lots of blood one night at the back street. Ya know any of it?”

“No!” Don shouted, but quickly coughed and calmed himself down fast. “I mean no for a shock of having dead bodies there on the street.”

“Ya would have got shocked. Man, those dudes necks were bitten and ripped ta pieces. It must have been a horrible fight. What could have done that?”

“Speaking of fights, it seems you have been into one too lately.”

Thanks to Mikey and his fast thinking subject was changed pretty quick and Casey told them he had been in a fight just few hours before coming to the lair with April.

“I got a pretty bad cut on my arm, ya see? It’s still bleeding.”

Removing his sleeve and gauze from the wound instantly made Don and Leo turn pale. Hearing familiar scary hissing growl few feet behind them Don and Leo once again witnessed it how their brother was transforming.

“Quick, Casey! Cover your wound!”

“But why?”

“Just do it!”

But Raphael was, already, coming towards his best friend - jumping in the air. Casey, just barely, avoided Raphael’s attack, thanks to Mikey who had been sitting on the floor and pulled his human friend down next to him by the feet.

“Mikey, take Casey and go! Get as far away from Raph as possible! Leo and I will hold him!”

“W-what’s going on here? What are ya doing, Raph?!”

“No time to explain, Case, come!”

Helping his friend up Mikey rushed towards the stairs. He wanted to take Casey in his room and lock the door until Don and Leo would have got Raphael, but his muscular brother landed right in front of them, having madness written all over his face and eyes locked on Casey’s cut.

“What are you doing?! Cover your cut!”

Since Casey was too stunned about Raphael’s madness, Mikey slammed his own hands on Casey’s wound and it seemed to confuse his brother. But yet it seemed Raphael's mind had learned to work better under this mutation. Even if he didn’t saw blood he still smelled it, learning to realize blood was under it whatever was hiding it.

Crawling closer his teeth grew longer and his mouth opened unnaturally wide with deep throat growls and hisses. By this time April and Splinter had come out of the room into lair’s biggest area and naturally April had screamed after seeing Raphael.

“What’s going on?!”

“Not now, April, please.”

“But---!”

Flash of green and red spread from the floor into the air as Raphael once more aimed for his friend, but this time Don was there with his bo. Knowing now what Don tried to do, Raph did his best to dodge his brother’s attempt of protecting Casey. However, Don’s hands and weapon were faster than Raph and so Donatello managed to swing left side of his bo in Raphael’s mouth jerking him backward, causing Raph slam on the floor on his carapace. Don threw himself on his brother holding him down as good as he could, but he had troubles.

“Leo, I need your help! Come hold him down!”

Donatello expected Leo to appear in any second, but he soon realized Leonardo wasn’t there to help him. Looking over his shoulder Don saw Leo standing further away behind Mikey and Casey looking all pale and lost.

“Leonardo Hamato!”

Hearing his full name being called Leo blinked few times and finally rushed to his brother’s aid. Together they managed to hold Raphael down as long as Mikey took Casey far away in second floor, hiding him in Leo’s room since Leo himself had suggested it. Leonardo’s room was the only room which was furthest and best for current situation.

Now that blood was out of his sense radar Raphael slowly calmed down and passed out. It was just a thought and assuming, but perhaps Raphael’s ‘mutation’ was so strong and out of control that it used all energy what Raphael had and caused him to faint when adrenaline stopped flowing. Taking holds on Raphael’s belt, Donatello and Leonardo took him back on the bed - and tied him once more.

Look on Don’s face was clear and it didn’t lie – he was disappointed and slightly angry how Leo hadn’t come to his aid when he had asked it.

“Donnie. I’m sorry. I… I froze. All that what happened before...”

Sighing and letting his anger go, Donatello turned to face his leader and brother.

“Leo, I understand your fear. I feel it too whenever I see Raph in that form. However, more than fear I love my brother and for that I do whatever it takes to help him. There’s no room for fear or letting it have us, not then when our brother needs us the most. Please, Leo, try to remember that next time. When you see Raph like that, think he’s scared too and in most desperate need of your help.”

Tapping Leonardo’s shoulder few times Donatello left him alone in infirmary with sleeping Raphael. Looking down at his sleeping brother Leonardo sighed deeply. He didn’t want to fear his brother, but he didn’t know how to get rid of it… He just didn’t know and he was too embarrassed to tell about it to his father.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donatello is finally ready to start to help Raphael, but Leonardo isn't sadly in the same boat.

“So… Ya all are saying my best buddy turns into insane bloodthirsty monster when he sees blood?!”

Casey yelled in shock, April and Mikey holding him down on the couch while Splinter was taking care of his cut.

“It seems that’s the situation, Mister Jones, but rest assured we will do whatever it takes to make my son return back to normal.”

April sat there silently for a moment, then slowly turning to look Donatello who was approaching them from the infirmary.

“Splinter told us everything just now. Do you need help with anything? I would gladly help you.”

Taking a seat Don smiled at his human friend who’s help had been very important and needed in the past, but in this case Donatello didn’t want to involve April in it.

“I thank you for your offer, April, but I can handle this on my own.”

“So you have a plan?” Mikey asked hopefully and his brother nodded once.

“I have a theory what I would like to try, but before that I need to build a cage.”

“A cage?”

“For Raphael. It will be for his own and our safety.”

Everyone seemed to be at lost for a moment, but they trusted Donatello and instead of saying a thing, they all agreed with a nod. Casey and April offered to bring Donatello supplies if he needed any, who gladly accepted that offer. Everyone stood in line while wishing byes to their friends, who had decided it was best for them to leave and leave this in turtles' hands.

In the infirmary Raphael had woke up and Leo, who had decided to stay by him, released him. Sitting on the bed Raph sighed in defeat after hearing what he had tried to do.

Leonardo kept staying still and silent, watching his once so strong brother being all devastated because of this… And it was all because Leonardo himself had given Don an order to give that serum to him. He regretted it, but he also had hopes Raphael could be cured. He just didn’t know how or how long it would take. Sudden loud sounds from the lab drew their attention and both of them headed in there, finding genius collecting stuffs in his hands.

“What are you doing? Did you figured something out?”

“I hope so.”

Turning around brown eyes spotted Raphael standing there with Leo, and Don instantly stopped, hurtful look in his eyes as he scanned his brother.

“Raph… I –“

“Don’t bother, Donnie. Just… Don’t.”

Leo and Don looked at each other and then Raph, both of them wanting nothing more than help him as soon as possible. Emptying his hands from all the stuff Don silently and steady made his way to Raph, pulling him in tight hug.

“I will keep my promise to you.”

“I know ya will. Just hurry, okay?”

Pulling away from the warmth of Raph’s big body, Don rested his hands on those collapsed shoulders giving them assuring squeeze.

“I promise I will.”

Without saying anything more Donatello filled his arms once more with stuff and ran to the elevator, going in the garage.

\- -

Few days passed and much for everyone’s relief nothing bad hadn’t happen and Raph’s mood had lifted because of it. Now happily training alone in the dojo Raphael focused on keeping himself in good shape. Mutated monster or not, he needed and wanted to stay in shape and keep his muscles and strength.

Elevator’s doors opened, revealing widely smiling olive green turtle who was pulling something on wheels behind him. Getting everyone’s attention with his entrance, Donatello stopped at the end of the lair waiting his family to gather around.

“I know this might won’t be much, and it most surely won’t solve the whole problem what we have with Raph, but this most surely will be our best step for now.”

Pulling huge piece of cloth off the box shaped item, Don revealed very strong looking iron cage. Everyone eyed it in confusion.

“Um, Donnie, it’s a cage. Are you planning to lock Raphael in there?”

“Kind of.”

Donatello turned his eyes on Raphael, who didn’t seem to be too happy about the idea of being locked in that cage. It seemed to be big enough for him to stand in it straight, but there wasn’t much of space to move around nor sleep… If he didn’t curl on the floor that is.

“We will use this when we are training him to get used of seeing and smelling blood.”

“What does that mean in practice?” Leonardo asked arms crossed on his plastron.

“It means Raph goes in there and we lock the door. We then will show him raw meat with blood and see how he will react, how long it will take for him to calm down when, and if, he realized he can’t get what he wants. I hope, in and with time, he will learn to get over of his obsession for blood and raw meat.”

“What do you mean by raw meat, Donatello?”

“That’s what I, too, would like to know, my son.”

Both Michelangelo and Splinter seemed to be interested and confused about this since none never hadn’t mention, to them, about Raphael eating raw meat. Donatello, however, knew he had – thanks to Raphael’s confession about eating Klunk. Of course Donatello had, and would, keep his promise for not telling about it so he told what he knew to be truth.

“When Raphael attacked those Foot ninjas, he did bite off a big piece of their necks, but I never saw him dropping or spitting those pieces out so he must had eat them.”

Hearing loud ‘urb’ sound made everyone’s eyes turn on Raphael who was running towards the bathroom as fast as he could, hand covering his mouth. Door slammed shut hard behind him and soon they all could hear subdued sounds of vomiting. All 3 of them turned to look Donnie who, obviously, was now feeling bad since he had forgot that Raphael didn’t had clear memories about the happenings... But he had to be straight and deadly honest in this case. It would be painful but it was important step towards recovering. After 10 minutes or so Raphael decided to join his family and his good mood was once again gone.

Donatello explained his plan again, asking would Raphael agree with it. Since Raph didn’t really have much choices, and he wanted to recover, he agreed - and so the first test or rather training, like Don liked to call it, was executed. Splinter, Leonardo and Michelangelo stood a bit further away as Donatello locked the cage, asking and making sure his brother inside was alright.

Nodding Raphael told he was ready, receiving a nod back. Donatello had found small working refrigerator day before from junkyard and it instantly had found important purpose in Don’s mind. Opening it Donatello took a piece of bloody meat on the plate in his hand, hearing familiar hiss behind him. Turning around and kicking the door shut, gently, brown eyes scanned his brother who had transform and his eyes were locked on the meat.

Keeping his distance Don started to walk back and forth sideways, studying Raphael’s body language. So far he seemed calm, waiting. Stopping for a moment Donatello wanted to see would his brother's behavior change - but it didn’t. When Donatello took one big step towards him, Raphael launched himself with all his strength against the cage’s bars, trying to reach his hand at the meat.

Growling and hissing as fast and loud as Raph could, he seemed to be extremely obsessed about the piece in Don’s hands. Keeping his space Donnie started to walk once again back and forth, Raphael following him as much as he could inside his cage. He was becoming frustrated; He was so close of food and yet so far. Slamming against the bars hard, once again while reaching his hand towards Don, Raphael let out strongest howl-growl mix what he could let out of himself. Stopping Donatello kept his eyes on Raphael who seemed not to have any signs of getting tired.

Taking a stool Don placed the piece of bloody meat on it and left it away from Raphael’s reach. Since the cage, for now, was in open area of the lair, Donatello didn’t put any cameras there to film his brother. He could have give Raphael a shot to put him to sleep, but he didn’t want to do it since their lives weren’t in danger. Leaving Raph in the cage to exhaust himself was the best option. Walking back to his brother and father they all eyed their mad brother who desperately tried to reach that meat.

“Gosh, this is kinda heart breaking to watch.”

Mikey was feeling bad for his brother, but he knew this was for the best because Donnie had said so. With heavy hearts they left rampaging Raph in the cage, hoping he would get tired eventually. It took 5 hours before Raphael finally had started to get exhausted enough, finally giving in trying to reach his target. Now sitting on the cage’s floor, keeping his tired gaze on the meat, his senses sharpened when footsteps approached. They took Donatello straight to his food. Instincts told him to reach and fight - which he did and it, in return, made Don jump a bit. Hiding the meat back in the fridge Donatello made his way towards Raphael, who packed away from the door, eyeing his brother.

“I’m not going to hurt you, Raph.”

Hoping his calm voice would reach his brother’s soul Donatello opened the door, standing by it.

“You can come out if you want.”

Having suspicious, but curious look on his face Raph slowly made it to the entrance, his gaze locking on the fridge where he now knew his food was held. Seeing this Don suddenly kicked Raph back in the cage, locking the door. Growling in fury Raphael tried to reach his brother who flipped backward easily, avoiding being cut with those long claws.

So Raph’s memory in his current state was becoming better. It also could mean he could learn to control himself better with time. Leaving Raphael raging in the cage once more, Donatello came to check him after 30 minute, finding his brother back in his normal state, sleeping.

– -

It had been 3 weeks now and both Don and Mikey had trained Raphael as much as possible, but because Raphael was stubborn - even in his mutated form -, it took hours and hours before he gave in. For that reason, in the next day, Raphael was extremely exhausted and tired so he usually spent those days sleeping in his hammock. After all Raphael DID need some days out of the cage. That had made Don and Mikey agree they would train Raphael every second day to let their brother have much needed rest and this day was one of those days when Raph could rest. 

However, hot-head had something in his mind. Leonardo hadn’t been having much contacts with him and Raphael wanted to change that. He wanted and needed his big brother’s support as well, but he just hadn’t had any luck of getting it. Usually Leo did his best to avoid him so Raphael did what he knew to be the best way to get Leo’s attention. Just like he had assumed, Leonardo’s voice stopped him when he was heading out.

“Have you forgot I grounded you for not going topside?”

“No, I haven’t forgot but I need fresh air.”

“We all could use some fresh air but you are off limits, Raphael. What if you come to an emergency scene, someone’s badly hurt and bleeding? You would go and attack on them and if police would be there, they would shoot you.”

“Shoot me? Njah, I’m still a ninja.”

“Brainless bloodthirsty one.”

Growling in anger Raph’s body tensed, but he held himself back.

“Good for ya ta say that and fucking judge me!”

“I’m simply stating out the truth.”

“In most painful way. Ya just love ta piss me off, don’t ya?”

“And you just love to disobey my every rule and crawl under my skin!”

“If ya wouldn’t be such a dick like ya are, I wouldn’t have ta do any of that!”

“And if you wouldn’t be such an immature hot-head I wouldn’t have to! You should listen to me more instead of always fighting against me!”

“I would listen if ya wouldn’t be so fucking bossy! Always yelling at me and ordering me around without a damn respect or a thought I’m a moron who can’t do anything right! For once ya could shut the fuck up or next time I mutate I’ll eat ya ta shut ya up just like I ate Klunk!”

Lair instantly became deadly silent and the atmosphere in it suddenly changed while Raph stared in Leo’s frozen shocked face, eyes full of fear. Sudden desperate gasps snapped Raph out of his empty head and he saw Leo holding his neck backing away, swinging air towards his face. Reaching towards his brother Raph made it all just worse. With faster speed Leo started to walk back and forth gasping for air, trembling and fanning air towards his face.

“What’s going on?! Leo, talk ta me!”

But whenever he tried to approach his brother, Leo stopped him with a hand sign. Since he couldn’t do anything or knew what was going on, Raph called his brother.

“Donnie! DONNIE! Come here! Something’s wrong with Leo!”

Heavy door of Don’s lab swung open, Don running towards them and it came clear what was wrong with his older brother. Holding on Leo’s shoulders, Donatello forced Leo to sit down, kneeling next to him and stroking his carapace.

“It’s okay, calm down. Relax and breath. Everything is okay. That’s good, keep calming down, I’m right here with you.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Raph’s voice was low, silent and full of worry.

“Panic attack.”

Donatello’s calm reply froze Raph and the reality started to hit his mind. Of course. He had seen few times how Leonardo had looked at him in a bit weird way and sometimes Raph had been sure he saw fear in Leo’s eyes, but he had told himself it was only his imagination. There was no way their Fearless Leader would be afraid of him… But then again all what had happened to them, to him, could have left its marks in Leo’s spirit. And now he had threaten to eat him next time he would mutate… Also adding the fact that he had ate Klunk on top of it.

Swallowing repeatedly in desperate try of getting lump out of his throat, Raphael took one shaking step closer, but Don held his hand up looking at his brother over his shoulder.

“I know you want to apologize and be here for Leo but please, leave him to me. Your presence only keep his panic attack on so could you, please, go somewhere? Take a bath or something.”

Raph knew his brother didn’t mean any harm, but... Still his words were like a stab straight in his heart. But if it would help Leo to recover, Raph would leave them alone. Whispering ‘Sure’ Raph walked past them from behind so Leo wouldn’t see him, climbing up the stairs to second floor. He stopped to look over the railing to see Mikey now had joined Don and was sitting on Leo’s legs, hugging and rocking him slowly and tight. It seemed Mikey had become Leonardo’s best comforter and support since Mikey owned so clear and pure positive mind.

Sealing himself in the darkness of his own room Raphael slid down against the wall on the floor, hugging his legs, head pressed on his knees. Silent tears wet his bandanna and burned his eyes. It was hard to swallow and his chest felt so painful and tight. What the hell he had started to become? A huge mess who was taking his big brother with him. A brother who meant the most to him, a brother who he always had - and always would - look up to, a brother who he loved and respected greatly despite all the nasty words and actions what he had shown towards him. A brother who was his everything.

In this moment Raph really wished his brothers would had let him die. This wasn’t life since he was ruining the lives of his loved ones.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo is struggling with the whole situation.

Since his panic attack, Leonardo had been beside his 2 younger brothers more than ever before, feeling safe and secure with them, but it didn’t make Raphael’s words - which echoed repeatedly in his head - go away.

Donatello had been watching his older brother a while, finally deciding to speak out and tell him, and Mikey, the truth about Klunk. On top of it, he needed to say his thoughts about where Raph’s mutation was going. He invited Splinter to hear what he had to say, too.

“I know this isn’t easy for any of us, specially to you, Mikey, to hear this but I think it’s time to speak out what’s going on. I know I promised Raphael not to, but things are getting out of hands if we all are not on the same page and know what’s going on.”

“I agree with you, Donatello. I have seen how you all, my sons, have start to have cracks more or less in your spirits.”

Splinter said calmly and while he meant all his sons, his eyes were on Leonardo.

“So what’s going on exactly?”

Mikey asked and while he kind of knew the answer, he wasn’t sure did he want to hear it. Sighing deeply Donatello started.

“First of I think we should talk about Klunk.”

Taking a fast look of his youngest brother and making sure he was ready to hear whatever he had to say, Don continued.

“There’s no easy way to say this and I don’t like to circle around so I just will spit it out – It was Raphael who ate him. I don’t know the reason why, but I assume Klunk had a bleeding scratch or something. Raphael... Have some faint memories about it happening.”

Silence filled Donatello’s little sanctuary as his eyes scanned them all, looking for any signs should he be - more - concerned, stopping right there, but when his eyes met his father’s eyes, he received a small nod as an encouragement to go on. He trusted Splinter’s ability to sense the state of their minds and spirits. It seemed they all were balanced to go on.

“… How are you doing, Mikey?”

Keeping his gaze on his ankles, what he held with his tight hold while sitting on the floor, Mikey only nodded.

“I’m okay. I… I kinda had the feeling - and a thought - it was him since Klunk would never disappear like that. And only part left of him was his leg...”

“I understand if you carry anger towards your brother, but we must remember he wasn’t himself when this action happened.”

“I know and understand that, father, and I can say I’m not angry at Raph. He did something bad what hurt me greatly, but I can’t hate or be angry at him still. It’s---”

“How can you not be angry at him and hate him?!”

Everyone’s shocked wide eyes were on their leader and son who had stood up, fear and anger shining so clear in his eyes.

“Leonardo, sit down and let’s keep this conversation on with calmness.”

“I can’t sit down and be calm!”

Leonardo never protested against his father so it was another little shock when he did.

“Your mind and spirit are badly unbalanced, Leonardo. Sit down and we will keep talking. It may not be the most pleasant conversation what we ever have had, but this is necessary in order to help all of us to deal with this and heal.”

“I’m damn fine! It’s Mikey here who’s unbalanced! He isn’t angry at Raph! His brother ATE his cat! He should be furious and wanting revenge!”

“Leonardo Hamato!”

Despite Splinter’s old age, he still moved so very fast as he stood up straight in front of his son, giving deadly strict look to Leonardo, who had started to slip too much into the road of anger and fear.

“That what your brother feels and thinks is not your concern. In this situation your brother, Michelangelo, has shown even greater ability to remain calm and have more thoughts and balance in this than you have. He seeks no revenge towards your brother since he understands Raphael wasn’t able to control himself. I believe the situation would be totally different if Raphael willingly would had hurt and kill Klunk.”

Sitting down Splinter sighed deeply, keeping still his eyes on Leo who’s shoulders had start to drop slowly.

“You must keep a hold of yourself in any situation, my son. Your anger blinds you and stops you from seeing this from other's point of view. Your own fear and what you would had done cannot be put on others. Now sit down and let Donatello go on. He must have more information to share with us.”

Rolling his father’s words in his mind Leonardo slowly made his way back on the floor, sitting down all quiet. However he turned to look Mikey and whispered; “I’m sorry, Mikey.”

Small smile spread on Don’s and Splinter’s faces as they heard Mikey replying everything was okay and he understood Leo’s feelings and a point of view, but Mikey himself never didn’t want to go on anything with anger, fear or revenge. Small smile had sneak on Leo’s lips as he secretly admired his little brother, the only one of them who always managed to be and keep his positive attitude up – even in this situation.

Now that everyone were quiet once more, Donatello continued.

“I have come to conclusion that Raphael’s memory and control of his mutation has start to improve with our training session. I’m not one hundred percent sure, but I think he might be able to control himself more than he shows, maybe, or then that’s something what’s very near to come. I also sent his blood example with Bishop’s notes and researches to Leatherhead and he returned back to me yesterday with some answers.”

Even that Leo hated to ask it, he had to; “Is there something wrong?”

“I hope not, but as you know I have been studying more about that serum what we gave to him and Leatherhead confirmed my thoughts. That serum keeps making Raphael’s mutations stronger each time he mutates.”

“What does this mean exactly?”

“It means there might, and most surely will, come a time when he won’t turn back to himself, sensei.”

“So he will stay as a mutated monster for the rest of his life?” Sorrow in Michelangelo's eyes was heartbreaking.

“No, if I can help it.”

“Then what we do?” Mikey asked while keeping his light blue eyes on Don's brown ones.

“Leatherhead and I are working on an antidote for him, but it might take time so we should try to keep Raph from mutating as much as possible.”

“How about his training then?”

Donatello sighed deeply. “That’s the problem. He kind of has start to ignore blood more or less, even in his mutated form, but I fear he will become that blood thirsty being what he once was if we stop training him.”

“So our choices are to train him and let him mutate, while hoping you guys come up with an antidote what would cure him, even in his mutated state, or just let him become that… that thing.”

As sad fact as it was, Don nodded. His hands were kind of tied, but he still would do what he could with Leatherhead, but it seemed pretty hopeless and that was something what Donatello didn’t want to admit to his family. He wanted to keep that hope up what he saw in his family members' eyes.

– -

After their meeting Splinter had asked Leonardo to come with him. They had short private talking in Splinter’s room. Splinter had encouraged his son to meditate, to find a root of his fear - and now raising anger - toward his uncontrollable brother. The last thing what Splinter wanted was his sons really turn against each other and break their spirits.

Taking his words into his heart Leonardo had spend rest of the day meditating, but he always stopped when he came across with mutated blood thirsty Raphael in his mind, who attacked on him and stared to eat him alive. Sweat covered his trembling form and it was exhausting and almost too much to bear. Deciding to call it for tonight Leonardo blew his candles and went to sleep.

Waking up on the sound of hiss - what froze his very being - Leonardo snapped his eyes open. His greatest fear stood at his bed’s side looking down at him with those red hungry eyes. Hearing and feeling his heart hammering all around his body, Leonardo started to reach for his katana, but Raphael leaped on him, sinking those long and strong teeth in his neck, shaking his head violently and ripping off half of Leo’s neck.

Spine chilling scream behind the wall from Leo’s room woke Michelangelo up instantly. He never hadn’t got off from the bed so fast as he did now. His running steps took him in Leo’s room in a few seconds. Normally Leonardo would had woke up at least on the sound of his door being slammed against the wall but no, he kept screaming from the bottom of his lungs in most horrible way and it froze Michelangelo on his spote for a second. Shaking his head Mikey returned his mind back in this moment and instead of just going to shake his brother up, Mikey sat on him and started to slap his face over and over again - hard.

“Leo, wake up! It’s only a nightmare! Come on, bro, wake up!”

It took few more slaps and hard shakes by the shoulders before Leo finally jerked up in sitting pose, letting out last and long scream. He was panting heavily, sweat covering his body while staring into emptiness until his normal senses started to kick in. S-someone was sitting on his legs hugging and rocking him slowly. Seeing a slightly bluish green skin and smelling the scent of his youngest brother Leonardo relaxed, resting his head on Mikey’s shoulder, perfectly allowing himself to be rocked and comforted by him.

Sounds of hurried steps brought Don and Splinter soon at his open doorway, but none of them said a word. It was obviously clear what had happened and hearing Mikey whispering comforting words to Leonardo was even more than good evidence of it.

Hearing other steps, Leo’s body started to tense since he recognized them. Soon dark green skinned brother of his appeared behind Don and Splinter rubbing his eyes tiredly.

“What’s going on? Is everything alright?”

Before anyone got to reply to him, Leonardo was trying to get free from Mikey’s hold, eyes wide with fear.

“S-stay away from me!”

“Huh?”

“Get away! Don’t come near me or I’ll kill you!”

“Ya moron! I ain’t gonna hurt ya!”

“I won’t let you eat me!”

“I---!”

“Raphael, enough. You and Donatello with me, now. Michelangelo, you stay with your brother.”

Luckily Splinter was there to take the lead as he left his 2 other sons behind, escorting other two with him downstairs so Leonardo wouldn’t hear them and would have time to calm in his little brother’s arms.

“My sons, we must be honest here. If we can’t cure Raphael soon, Leonardo will lose himself totally to his fear.”

Looking down at his feet Raphael was so sad, shoulders dropped as down as they could.

“… And it’s my fault. I had ta go and scare him more by threatening ta eat him… Splinter, I --- I didn’t mean any of it!”

“Calm down, my son. I know you would never hurt your brother in such or any other way. Instead of worrying what has been done and said, we have to keep our gazes focused forward. If I may suggest, I think our best choice now is to keep training Raphael and we will deal with his mutation later.”

“What mutation?”

“There’s a chance that when you mutate too many times, you will stay in that form for good.”

On top of all, now than ever, Raphael felt like a carpet would had been pulled out beneath his feet. Not knowing how to react or what to say he simply lowered his golden orbs down, feeling as sorrowful as a person can feel. Assuring Splinter said there was always hope, but in this situation it was very small comfort to Raphael.

At the same time in second floor Leonardo had calmed down, but Michelangelo still kept himself sitting on Leo’s legs, stroking his shoulders in comforting and calming way.

“You feeling better, dude?”

“Y-yeah, thanks Mikey.”

“You know for a Fearless leader you sure as heck make very scary sounding screams.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Njah, don’t be! If you wouldn’t had screamed like you did, I wouldn’t had woke up and you still might would be having that dream. … Um, was it about---?”

“Raph eating me? Yes. Mikey… I never wouldn’t had believe or even think about it, but… I’m so damn scared. So afraid of him. Constantly waiting him to appear with surprise attack and eat me.”

“Dude, you know Raph says a lot of stupid things what he always doesn’t even mean and eating you was one of them. He would never hurt us like that.”

“But he ate Klunk too… … How you have been able to deal with it? Why you’re not scared of him or angry at him?”

“I know in your mind and eyes I should have lots of reasons for both of those feelings but… I don’t feel any of them towards Raph. I was hurt when I realized he had ate Klunk, but like I said before; It wasn’t really him so it brought me comfort. And you know what else? I love Raph. He’s annoying big brother who I love to tease. The bond between us brothers is stronger than anything in this world and I mean anything. Besides I think, in your case, talking with him would be quite helpful since you like to collect information so why not collect it from him straight? Just go and face him head on in conversation battle. I’m sure it will help you deal with your fears of him.”

Listening his little brother’s open minded wisdom Leonardo came to understood one thing – He had stopped caring and loving Raph the way how he used to. He had let his traumas from Raph’s first mutation take over him and it had leave long mental scars in his spirit. Leonardo now knew what he had to do but still… It wasn’t going to be easy.

“I… I will try to talk to him but not yet. I feel I’m not ready.”

Tapping Leo’s bigger shoulder Mikey smiled at him getting off on him.

“Just the words what I wanted to hear. You can do it, Leo. You are braver and stronger than you think and believe.”

Walking at the open door Mikey halted to spin around with a smile on his face. “Things will get back to normal. I know they will.”

Smiling back at peace Leonardo just nodded to his happy little brother. He was glad about it how easily Mikey’s happy mood and smile could make him smile too, set his soul in peace in someways in this situation. Only way from here was up and Leo would had to struggle with himself to get out of his fear hole, but he would do it.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys finally come up with a plan to help Raphael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 more chapters to go! :D I will upload them later.
> 
> I apologize any writing mistakes. English isn't my native language and I'm self-taught when it comes to English.
> 
> Comments are always greatly appreciated! <3

Much for Michelangelo’s disappointment Leonardo hadn’t talked with Raphael - yet. Mikey had seen it many times how Leonardo had approached Raphael, but when their eyes had met, Leonardo had changed his mind and walk away leaving hurt Raph behind.

Raphael had watched that for almost a week until he had enough. Mikey sat on the couch playing his video games - like always - as he heard Leo’s and Raph’s voices getting louder and louder. Another argument, how surprising.

“Why are ya avoiding me?! I’m trying ta talk ta ya and tell ya how good I have done in training!”

“Look, I’m happy you have made progress, but I have no time to talk to you, okay?”

“Of course ya ain’t having time ta me. Ya are always, oh, so busy.”

“Raph, please, don’t start.”

“I ain’t starting nothing! It’s ya who started all this!”

“Me!?”

“Yeah. If that what ya guys told me is true it was ya who gave that order ta give me a shot and insert that serum in my blood. I never asked for it!”

“… I don’t want to talk about this.”

Once more Leonardo turned his back to his brother and rushed away. Raphael started his chase, but Splinter stopped him.

“Let him go, my son. Leonardo needs time to heal. It seems he has start to recover very little, since he now at least talked with you some instead of just running away. Give him more time.”

“I just wanted ta tell him how good I have been doing in my training.”

“You will have your chance, my son.”

Michelangelo and Donatello appeared next to Splinter who looked at them smiling.

“We are ready to go, sensei.”

“Go? Ta where?”

“Your brothers and I are heading to meet Miss O’Neil.”

“Cool! Can I co---” That excitement and joy disappeared fast from Raphael’s face as he realized he couldn’t join them and go see her and Casey. Tapping his son’s shoulder Splinter smiled at him.

“Do not worry, Raphael, there will come time when you can see them again.”

“Um, why Raph can’t come with us, Master Splinter?”

Mikey’s eyes turned on Donatello who got his attention with small cough.

“April called and told she’s having her period, that’s why.”

“Oh...”

“Donatello and I discussed about this matter and we agreed it would be better for not to take Raphael with us.”

Raph stood there silent swallowing few times. He wanted to see his human friends, but didn’t want to put them in danger so he agreed with his situation and stayed at home with Leo while Don, Mikey and Splinter headed out to April’s.

– -

April smiled to her guests after opening the door, giving them all warm hug, Casey just yelling his greeting from the couch, asking where Raph is. Mikey sat next to him and told him Raph couldn’t come since they didn’t want to risk anything. Casey and April both understood this, but they were still sad because of Raph’s situation. Sitting down they chatted some other things than Raph to lift up the mood.

“Oh gosh, I almost forgot! Mikey, I have a gift for you.”

Her green eyes smiled to this confused and slightly excited young turtle as she stood up from her chair, heading in her bedroom. After few seconds she came back with small box in her hands, handing it over to Mikey.

“I hope you like it.”

Eyeing that black little box Mikey pulled small red ribbon off around it and lift the lid, seeing silver necklace there with small gray diamond.

“Um, thanks April, I guess, but… Aren’t diamonds girls stuff?”

“Normally yes, but this is special diamond.”

“Made from Klunk’s ashes.”

His eyes went wide as his head turned fast towards his father.

“No way. Klunk’s ashes are in my room on the shelf.”

His father gave his son a small smirk.

“You can think so if you want, Michelangelo, but trust me, that diamond is made from Klunk’s ashes. It was not hard for this old rat to sneak in your room and took Klunk’s ashes and replace them with the ashes of my incenses.”

“We thought it would have been nice gift. You having a necklace around your neck, Klunk’s ash diamond hanging on it.”

Don said with as much warmth in his voice as he could put there with loving smile.

Warm and gentle, also slightly sad, smile appeared on Mikey’s face as he held that diamond with chain in his hands, sealing it in them while lifting his hands against his left plastron eyes closed. It was dead silent, but warm atmosphere in April’s apartment - and they all could hear Mikey’s silent whisper; “Thank you.”

It was beautiful moment to them all and none of them couldn’t stop smiling ever so gently. Making Mikey happy after Klunk’s death was the best thing what they could do to him.

\- -

Same time in the lair clock approached towards dinner time without mercy and Leo had decided to cook something despite the fact his cookings were always mocked by his brothers. His father, however, always encouraged him to continue cooking since he would improve by doing so. Standing tall in front of the worktop in the kitchen Leo was cutting ingredients when he saw shadow appearing at the doorway.

“Can we, please, talk?”

“Can’t you see I’m cooking, Raph?”

“Okay, how about I talk and ya listen?”

“That would be great distraction to me.”

Ignoring Leo’s complaining, Raph pushed himself away from the doorway’s wall, taking few steps towards his brother who seemed to tense a bit. Raphael stopped, running his palm on dinner table keeping his eyes on it.

“I just have been wanting ta tell ya I’m making good progress with my training. I have memories from them and Donnie has also confirmed it I’m doing good. I no longer just attack and try ta kill, ya know? I can control it more or less. Tho Don thought there still might be effect of blood what needs ta be tested. More blood means more bigger urge ta attack and eat.”

Stopping for a moment to give his older brother a chance to reply, which he never didn’t, Raphael continued.

“I… I guess I wanted ta tell ya this so ya could stop avoiding me. Being afraid of me. It… It’s painfully shitty… Ta know your own bro hates and fears ya. I… I just want ya ta be proud of me. I train hard ta be able ta control myself in that other form. … … … I ain’t wanting ta hurt ya or anyone else.”

Leo sighed silently and deep, allowing his body relax from it’s slight tension. He understood Raphael and heard his every word and he, somewhere deep inside, was proud of his brother after hearing how well he had been doing. But there still were doubts in the back of his head. There still was a chance for Raphael to mutate for good and then what? What they could do if that would happen? Leo didn’t want his brother to turn into a monster, but he couldn’t stop it either.

Too deep in his thoughts Leo totally lost his focus while chopping vegetables for dinner and, of course, he cut himself on his finger. Instantly his eyes grew wider, his head making fast turn toward his brother who - already - had seen that fresh red blood running out from the cut, mutating in front of Leo’s eyes. Backing away with the knife in his hand Leo took deep breaths, managing to keep himself more calmer than he thought he could as already mutated Raph was coming towards him. However his form looked more relaxed than before and he didn’t have such madness in his eyes, but Leonardo didn’t allow it to fool himself since it could be fatal mistake. Backing all the way around the table in the corner just next to kitchen’s doorway Leo froze when Raphael leaped over the table right in front of him and this suddenly move made Leo drop the knife on the floor.

“R-Raphael… Don’t. It’s.. It’s me, Leo. Your brother.”

Hissing silently Raph bend more down, launching himself towards Leonardo who yelled, raising his hands to protect his head and neck. He waited those fangs to sink in his arms, ripping his flesh and fingers off, but nothing like that happened. Slowly daring to open his other eye he saw how Raphael had took a hold of Leo’s hand and was repeatedly licking his bleeding wound. His heart was hammering so fast and hard in his chest as he froze his whole body, not daring to move. Raphael surely would leave him alone when the bleeding wound end... Right? But until then Leo stood there silently, focusing on calm breathing eyes closed.

He had no idea how much time had passed, but the sound of front door opening was like an answer to a long waited wish. Turning his head slowly to the side Leo saw his younger brothers and father entering their home.

“D-Donnie!”

Stopping on his spot Donatello lifted his eyes in the direction where he was called - shock flashed over his face.

“P-please, do something. He’s been licking my finger who knows how long already.”

Donatello carefully made his way next to them, studying them silently before speaking.

“Have you try to do anything?”

“No. I haven’t move. I thought about pulling my hand away, but I didn’t want to piss him off so I have let him lick my wound.”

“I see. Has he try to attack on you like he normally would?”

“No. Hng, Donnie, please. Take him away from me.”

“Mikey.”

“I’m on it!”

Their youngest brother ran to their second fridge where Raphael’s meat and blood were kept. Hearing the familiar sound of the door, while smelling stronger blood, Raphael stopped - opening his eyes. Slowly he released Leonardo's hand, walking past Donatello out of kitchen. His eyes locked on the meat what Mikey swung in the air, running in Don’s lab where Raphael’s cage had been moved long time ago. Naturally Raphael followed his brother with fast jumps, but when he reached lab’s door and saw his cage, he stopped.

“No...” He hissed taking a step back. “No… Cage.”

“Huh?”

Much for Mikey’s surprise Raphael turned around and ran out of his sight. When Mikey had made it out of the lab, Raphael had ran past their father towards the door, slamming his hand against the button what opened it.

“Raphael, no wait! Don’t go!”

Donatello’s words were in vein since Raphael was long gone. His mutated form was taller and also amazingly strong and fast. Raphael could easily jump around 7 feet in his mutated form with one simple kick and it would take a lot from them to catch up with him. Rushing towards front door Splinter lifted his walking stick in the air, blocking his sons way.

“Sensei, wha--”

“We shall not chase him. I know you want to go after him as well as do I, but I have a feeling we have to let him go and give him time. After all he has been here in the lair ever since his first mutation. I don’t believe he will go outside the sewers since he must remember it’s dangerous topside so let us be at peace and wait his return.”

– -

One hour passed, second hour passed, third hour passed. By now everyone, specially Leo who was marching back and forth in the lair, were getting very worried. Perhaps they should go find him. What if Raphael didn’t remember how to get back home in his current form?

“Master Splinter, I think we should go look for Raph. What if something happened?”

Releasing his usual deep ‘hmm’ Splinter kept sitting on his chair on his knees eyes closed. He clearly was worried as well. None of them expected Raphael to be away this long. Sudden sound from front door got all of their attention and Raphael stood there, still being in his mutated form, covered by already drying blood. Donatello jumped over the couch running to his brother Leonardo, Michelangelo and Splinter right behind him. Stopping in front of Raph, being face to face with him, Donatello instantly started to check his brother for wounds, but he found none.

Looking at Don, and all that blood on his brother, Leonardo let his gaze rose to watch Raphael’s face’s profile.

“What happened?”

Instead of being and sounding strict or scared, there was warmth and worry in Leo’s voice. Raphael’s red orbs turned slowly towards Leo and he let out long and steady hiss mixed sigh.

“... Hungry ...” There was tensed silence before Raphael hissed again. “Homeless…”

“Go on.” Leonardo encouraged.

“People… Ate… There.”

Pointing over his shoulder behind him, boys and Splinter saw 2 dead bodies of homeless people what Raphael had brought with him, but still left them outside the lair. Don and Mikey went to check the bodies and Don soon confirmed they were dead. Raphael indeed had sucked their blood and eat part of their necks. Slowly starting to make his way forward, slightly swinging side to side, he hissed again;

“Tired...”

Master Splinter took a hold of his arm and fearlessly started to escort his son in bathroom, explaining why he was taking him there.

“You may rest, Raphael, but first we need to wash that blood off on you.”

Without any kind of protest Raphael just silently followed his father in bathroom, laying in the tub as Splinter let it fill with warm water. He soon realized that his son had fallen asleep in the tub. Like any other father Splinter didn’t want to wake Raphael, but he had to. Gently starting to wash the blood off woke Raphael up and he opened his red eyes scanning his father, eyeing what he was doing. After good rub he was all clean and Splinter helped him out of the tub, drying him. Secretly Splinter was smiling since this reminded him of his younger days when turtles had been tots. Always so dirty after venturing in the sewers with or without his permission. He was forced to bath them and usually he got wet too since Mikey took all pleasures out of the water, splashing it all around on everyone.

From the bathroom Splinter headed to the stairs, taking Raphael in his room. Seeing familiar hammock did the trick and Raphael went to it and laid on it, falling asleep instantly. Only thing for Splinter to do - was to cover him with blanket. Tapping Raph’s relaxed shoulder Splinter sighed and left him to sleep, reuniting with his other sons.

“So it happened, huh?”

“It seems so. Raphael isn’t transforming back to normal.”

Mikey and Don both turned their worried gazes on Leonardo who sighed deeply. He knew this day would come and he had no other choice but to face it. He was afraid of Raphael, but seeing a little change in him, at least the fact he hadn’t try to eat him earlier even that he had went to eat those homeless people, gave him some weird comfort.

“So how do we go on from here?”

Leonardo finally asked, his hopeful gaze on his smart brother, who just raised his shoulders in defeat.

“I don’t know. Leatherhead and I have worked with the serum and we just can’t figure out the antidote. I’m sorry, but I can’t help Raphael.”

“How about Bishop?”

Mikey felt a bit weird when his family turned to look at him in surprise. “What? You guys never thought about him?”

“Mikey, why didn’t you say anything sooner?!”

“Because I thought you guys would had figured this simple thing out on your own, but no. Leo was too afraid and Don too focused on finding the cure himself and help me train Raph. And Splinter, with all respect, didn’t seem to be interested.”

Mikey really could use his brains when he wanted to, but he should have learn to use his mouth too, specially then when he had something as important to say. He sure as heck talked and talked and talked when he had nothing smart to say but when he had, he was all quiet.

“Hmm, Michelangelo has a very good point. After all he took the serum from Bishop’s lab so Bishop naturally should have the antidote.”

“If he has managed to create one.”

Don said with his voice low. He didn’t want to bring everyone’s hopes up for now. He had worked so long without success so how Bishop could have succeeded?

“I guess it’s a worth of trying. When Raphael wakes up, we will take him with us and head to Bishop’s lab. We will force him to give us the antidote if he have any.”

“And if not, we force him to help us and make one!”

Leonardo nodded with a small smile to his smirking and excited little brother. It was happy thing to see that at least Mikey hadn’t sink deep in fear or depression nor have given up hope. And about hope – Leo felt first time after a long time they had hope to cure Raph and with that Leo also could start to help himself to recover more from his fear.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leonardo and Raphael have a little chat.

This day had been long and Raphael had slept all the way to midnight. When he finally woke up, the lair was dead silent. Everyone had gone to bed except Leo. His door was slightly open and candles' light escaped between the opening into darker side of the lair. Hissing silently to himself Raphael started to head towards his brother’s room, deep inside knowing his presence wouldn’t be welcomed.

Pushing the door slowly more open, Raphael saw his big brother sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed. In his hands was his beloved katana which Leonardo cleaned with slow and careful movements. Lifting his eyes to meet Raphael’s made Leonardo halt. He watched how his mutated brother walked in the corner next to the door, sitting down. It kept Leo slightly alarmed, but he kept cleaning his sword. In silence he kept cleaning his blade, until Raphael started to talk - as good as he could in this form. Long sharp teeth didn’t make it easy... And having issues overall about talking.

“I… understand… fear.”

Those silent whispered words made Leonardo stop. Lifting his head up, Leonardo locked his blue eyes on his brother's eyes - after Raphael carefully lifted his head enough to be able to have an eye contact with him.

“I… fear too.”

Licking his lips and gently rubbing his fangs against each other, Raphael's eyes turned more moist as he lowered his gaze on his palms.

“This… Not… Me.”

Those words made Leo turn a bit more relaxed, but still worry and empathy lingered in his heart, and soul, towards his brother. He had tried to imagine it, at times, how his brother felt, but Leonardo instantly had pushed those thoughts away, replacing them with other thoughts.

Like; Raphael didn’t understand a thing in his monster form. That he was just a brainless blood thirsty monster. Now, however, Leonardo realized how very wrong he'd been.

Moving his katana to the safety on his bed, Leo stood up walking in front of his brother. He stood still for few seconds before sitting down. Hesitating a moment he reached forward, gently laying his smaller hands on Raph's, taking firm hold on them.

“Don’t worry. We will get you back to normal.”

“Want… That. Not… scare… ya.”

Forcing a small smile on his face, Leonardo gently tapped his brother’s hands in loving way.

“It’s okay. You and this mutated form of yours have been one of... My most difficult life lessons to learn. I still fear you in some way, but I try to think that… As long as you don’t see me bleed, I’m safe from you. I… I don’t want to be eaten by you, Raphael.”

With his last sentence Leonardo dropped his head down, hiding his fear from his brother. Feeling Raphael’s hold tightening gently around his hands in comforting way, Leonardo dared to look back in those red glowing eyes in candle light.

“I so… so sorry. Never… eat… ya. … Care ya… Love ya...”

Gently freeing his other hand from Leo’s hold, Raphael lifted it slowly, placing it on Leo’s cheek.

“Miss ya.”

He hissed so silently. It almost sounded like he wanted to let Leo know about his feelings, and yet he wanted to hide them.

Seeing silent tears pouring down on Raphael’s cheeks, Leonardo pulled his own hands free from Raph’s hold, moving as close to him as possible while bracing himself. Eventually he came close enough to pull his little brother in a warm hug. With a deep and silent exhale Leonardo rested his chin on Raphael’s shoulder. His heart tried to start to hammer his chest in fear, but Leonardo silenced it quickly. He now realized how much pain, on top of everything else, he'd brought and caused to his lonely brother. Because of his stupid fear.

He had lived with Raphael his whole life and never Raphael hadn’t try to hurt or attack on him. That was the reason - to begin with - why Leonardo had gotten so scared of Raphael after his first mutation and attack on the roof. No more. He didn’t want to be afraid of his brother anymore and cause more pain to his broken brother’s heart and soul.

Gently kissing Raphael’s shoulder, Leonardo rested his chin back on it, whispering;

“I love you too. And I have been missing you as well.”

“No fear?”

“A little, but I also have hope now that we will get you better. Raphael, I will make it all up to you once you’re recovered. I promise.”

Pulling away bigger turtle rubbed his eyes, sniffing few times. His eyes once more met those worried blue ones.

“I… understand.. fear.”

“Yes, I know. You said about it already.”

“We kids... I go sleep... Bed full bugs… Scream, cry and run… Toys. Mikey laugh… Splinter angry… Me cry... Fear. No sleep… In hammock or room.”

Raising his wondering gaze back to Leo’s eyes, Raphael continued.

“Leo nice. Protect… Let sleep… in bed.”

Understanding what Raphael was saying, Leonardo couldn’t help but to smile lovingly while nodding.

“Yes, I remember that night. We were heading to sleep and soon you ran out of your room, screaming and crying in fear that your hammock was full of bugs. Splinter went to investigate, discovering all those bugs were toys. Mikey played nasty prank on you since he knew you were afraid of bugs. Splinter lectured him good and you… You refused to sleep in your room - even if Splinter checked your room for every night. You got bad fear from it what Mikey did, and it took months before you finally started to dare to sleep in your room again. Before that, however, you slept with me in my bed.”

Now Raphael was smiling and he nodded once.

“Me… happy.”

“Yeah, I was happy too. I still am. I mean I’m your big brother. It’s my job to protect and help you. Be there when you need me. … … I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you now, Raphael. Not then when you, once again, really would had needed me. I’m so sorry I turned my back on you.”

“Leo will… help?”

“Of course! I will help you get back to normal, even if it means I have to kill Bishop to do so.”

There was strong hint of that old Fearless Leonardo in his eyes. It burned so bright with his determination to save his brother. It brought certain calmness to Raphael’s spirit and soul.

“Raphael, I need your help too. Would you… Sleep here with me in my bed? Like we did as kids.”

Looking a bit confused Leo continued.

“I told you I still fear you, but I need to face you, teach myself I have no reasons to be afraid of you. Letting you sleep here with me would be a good star, right?”

“Sleeping… with Leo?”

“Yes. But before that – Can I ask about those homeless people?”

This made Raphael deadly silent and it worried Leonardo greatly. Was he losing his brother into those memories of him killing innocent people again?

“Remember… Group. Beat homeless… Lots of blood… I-- I try ta control… Lose it. I… I attack… Kill and eat homeless… Poor people.”

Now shaking badly, Raphael pressed his head down between his shoulders.

“I sorry...! Not wanting… ta harm! Regret and sad.”

“I understand, but you - as well - should understand you couldn’t help yourself. Do you remember when you told me about your training progress? How you and Don thought about the among of blood effecting you?”

Raphael only nodded.

“You didn’t try to attack me or eat me when my finger was bleeding. You just licked it because there wasn’t all that much blood, but those homeless people getting a beating and bleeding a lot caused you to lose your self-control. Am I right?”

Once again Raphael nodded and Leonardo offered him small supporting smile.

“See? It’s the among of blood what now, and still, controls you. But you know; I’m very proud of you. You have trained so much and come a long way. I think… I wouldn’t had been able to do it.”

Raphael’s eyes were shining with happiness, like a child’s eyes after getting a candy, and it warmed Leonardo's heart greatly. He really started to see and believe that Raphael wasn’t all bad in his mutated form. Only thing what - in all this - was bad, was blood.

Getting on his feet Leonardo helped Raphael on his feet, guiding him to his bed. Removing his katana, Leonardo started to strip himself from his gears. Since Raphael wasn't wearing his gear, he just stood there watching. When oldest brother was ready, he crawled on the bed, Raph following him after small encouragement. Feeling a bit nervous Raphael laid on his side, looking nervously all around.

“It’s okay. I’m nervous too.”

Leo admitted. Raphael understood it was all because he was there. He, kind of, wanted to run away and not force Leonardo face his fear about him, but at the same time he wanted it. Wanted Leo to face the fear and become his big brother again.

Trying his best to stay hopeful, Raphael rested his head on Leo’s pillow, taking a deep inhale of Leo’s scent from it. Despite the fact Raphael had slept a whole day, and had woke up like 10 minutes ago, Leo’s scent turned his whole body rock heavy, mind tired and calm.

Yawning widely next to Leonardo made his brother stare those unnaturally long fangs until Raph’s mouth closed. Now turning his gaze on Raphael’s eyes, Leonardo noticed they were closed. Raph was sleeping already. It seemed his mutated form didn’t have any issues of falling a sleep. How lucky he was.

Laying on his back after covering them both with a blanket, Leonardo kept his gaze up at the ceiling, candles' light fading away with each dying candle. Listening Raphael steady breathing brought some sort of peace to him with clear memories from their childhood. Those memories overtook Leo's mind and he couldn’t stop smiling. This reminded him so much of that time when he, indeed, had been sharing his bed with Raphael who refused to sleep in his own room.

With silent chuckle Leonardo sighed and pulled blanket more closer to his chin, allowing those sweet memories to lull him to sleep.

\- -

Later, at some point during the night, Leonardo was tossing and turning while being hunted by another nightmare. Suddenly jumping up caused sweat run down on his face. Panting heavily Leonardo held tightly on his blanket with almost white fists.

Hearing a hiss next to him made Leo's heart jump, but when he turned to look the source of the sound, he saw sleeping Raphael there. Keeping his eyes on him while steadying his breathing, Leo sighed in some sort of relief, relaxing a bit.

Just a dream, thank God.

But this time it wasn’t only about his brother… But about himself.

In his dream Bishop had made an offer. He could and would cure Raphael, but he wanted one of the turtles as his test subject to his new serum. Leonardo couldn’t let that happen, and since they were there to cure Raphael, he stepped forward and promised to be Bishop’s lab rat for the rest of his life.

After getting the injection, his body turned extremely painful. Burning all around with the feeling of muscles being eaten from inside. Screaming in pain his body mutated 5 times bigger than it normally was. His left arm stayed in normal form, but right arm grew 3 times bigger with sharp claws, flesh tearing off from some parts. His shell twisted and grew too. Leo's legs were different sized as well.

Teeth were sharp like Raph’s, and he just… He just felt the pain inside his body all the time, tasting blood in his mouth. The mutagen in his body was fighting against this new serum - and it was tearing his organs and body apart. Finally Leonardo collapsed on the ground, dying slowly and extremely painfully while his brothers kept calling his name. Blurry vision showed Leonardo how his brothers were dragged away by Bishop’s men, Bishop himself standing there laughing at him.

No, he wouldn’t let that or anything like that to happen! He would rather fight and die than ever agree to anything like that! He would stand and protect his brothers too.

Blue eyes scanned sleeping Raphael again. Suddenly it felt like a light bulb turned on in his head. Maybe it was a sign! His dream! Perhaps Bishop did have a cure - and if that was the case, they would go and pay Bishop a visit tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boys meet with the Bishop.

Boys and Splinter were gathered in the kitchen, and while having a breakfast, Leonardo opened up and told his family about his dream. It received weird gazed and questions, but it - eventually - leaded to a plan about going and attacking in Bishop’s base tonight.

“Are you sure that’s going to work?”

“What you suggest? That we sneak in the lab like first time and just sneak around and hope we find something? No. We will face Bishop head on.”

This new confidence and bravery in Leonardo’s whole being made Splinter smile.

“Something has happen to you, my son. Perhaps it is your and Raphael’s conversation which has start to heal your spirit, bringing it back to life in its full strength. I’m most pleased and happy to see this, seeing that spark in your bright eyes, son.”

Leonardo’s bright eyes were serious and full of determination as he kept listening and staring at his father.

After last night’s nightmare Leonardo had struggled to go back to sleep. Raphael had sensed his discomfort, pulling Leo in his arm. This had scared smaller male almost to death at first, but after the little panic and fear he started to relax. Feeling the same comfort and support what he had felt all those years ago after he'd been attacked and hurt by the Foot. Raphael had stood awake by his side all night long, holding Leo gently in his arms - drowning him in his warmth and love.

Raphael had done exactly that last night too, and it was amazingly healing to Leo’s cracked spirit. All what he had needed, was to let Raph close and let him show his brotherly love to him, kill Leo’s fears from his head. All his fears about Raph weren’t completely gone yet, but most of them were. He trusted on Raphael now more than before and it was already a big thing.

“So what’s the plan then, leader? Will we take Raph with us?”

Turning his gaze from Michelangelo on Raphael, who was sitting in the kitchen’s corner eating medium steak with his hands, Leonardo nodded firmly.

“We will go to Bishop’s base tonight. No sneaking around or anything. We will let him know we are there and we want to meet him. And yes, we will take Raphael with us. If he have the cure, he will cure Raph there and then. We beat him to do it if nothing else works.”

Donatello and Michelangelo changed looks, but they said nothing. They had learned in their lives that when their big brother had made a decision it would hold - no matter what. Leonardo excused himself, but before fully leaving the kitchen he encouraged his brothers to get prepared since this might wouldn’t turn out to be easy.

\- -

Hours seemed to be moving in slow motion and it was driving everyone’s nerves at edge, but Splinter gathered his sons in the dojo and meditated with them. Raphael, however, didn’t need to take part in it in his current form - so he just sat there silently watching them, being perfectly still. Just a thought about them heading to Bishop’s place, him being able to see the bastard, pissed Raphael off. However, he managed to held his temper down. He didn’t want it to escape him and disturb his meditating family.

When Splinter finally said they were done, Leonardo stood up and walked out, heading towards his room. Michelangelo, in the other hand, ran to play the game what he'd paused before meditation. And Don, naturally, went into infirmary and lab to collect stuff in his satchel. He wanted to be well prepared.

Right next to infirmary’s door was big shelf - and Donatello spotted small glass bottle on it. He first ignored it, but his senses screamed him to come back to it and take it with him. He had no idea why he had such a strong feeling about it, but if Don ever had learned anything, it was ‘always listen to your intuition.’ - so Donnie took that small bottle.

Hearing Mikey turning his game off, Donatello called him for his aid. Mikey appeared slightly confused as he entered the infirmary, but he lend Donnie his hand.

\- -

Meeting everyone at the front door Master Splinter gave them all encouraging smile, tapping them all on the shoulders.

“I believe I do not have to tell you, my sons, to be careful. Bishop is very dangerous man. He most surely will not help you so easily.”

“Don’t worry, we will make him help us.”

Another smile spread on Splinter’s face when hearing Leonardo’s loud and clear voice full of confidence. His son truly had started to come back more stronger than ever. His fear about his brother had been devastating, but also very helpful and improving. Turning his old eyes on Michelangelo, Raphael and Donatello, Splinter bowed to them and they returned the movement.

“Please watch after each other and come back safe and sound.”

“No worries, Sensei. We are professionals. We do this all the time!”

Mikey laughed as he walked past his father, giving him one tap on the back. Donatello following him with a small smile, bending down slightly to whispering to his father;

“Don’t worry. I watch after Mikey.”

To this Splinter only chuckled. His eyes, then, met Raphael’s orbs and his son seemed to be unsure and afraid of going out. Most of the bad things had happened outside and the fact he was going to face the man... Who’s serum had transformed him.

“Do not fear, my son. Your brothers are there with you. As long as you respect your true self and have a good heart, you will success. Remember who you TRULY are. You are great son, great brother, strong turtle, but most of all you are Raphael. Unbreakable soul.”

“Raphael… Soul...”

Splinter nodded to his son, who seemed to be gaining some faith about all this - and hope this would work.

Leonardo stepped next to him, moving his head once towards the sewer tunnel where their brothers were waiting. When Raphael started to head towards Don and Mikey, Splinter stopped Leonardo, giving him a loving hug.

“I’m counting on you, Leonardo. Bring your brothers and yourself home safe and sound.”

“Don’t worry, sensei, I will. I promise.”

Tapping his father’s back gently Leonardo pulled away, sharing small smile to his father. Leaning on his walking stick, Splinter watched after his sons, feeling so proud. He had the best sons in the whole world, no matter what anyone else would say or think.

– -

Marching side by side firmly in spotlight outside of Bishop’s base, Leonardo kept his eyes locked on Bishop who stood at the doorway, his long jacket swinging gently with the wind.

“I knew you would come sooner or later.”

“Then you also must know why we are here.”

Leonardo stopped on his place, his brothers doing the same. Instead of saying anything, Bishop turned around and guided them all inside the base. Huge lights were turned on for a better view, gunmen being ready to shoot the turtles if ordered to do so. Bishop allowed his eyes scan all turtles behind his glasses, but when he saw Raphael, he pushed his black glasses down from his eyes before pushing them back up.

“I assume you used that serum what you stole from me on your brother.”

“Yes and we need you to cure him.”

“How nice, but what I would get from it? After all you turtles own me much more than I own to you. Last time you broke in here, you did quite the damage and stole the serum.”

“If you stop your experiments and leave us alone, we will do the same for you. How’s that?”

“You really think I would agree with something like that, Leonardo?”

Hearing his big brother growl next to him, Michelangelo took a small step forward while keeping strict look on Bishop. When Mikey stopped right next to Leonardo, he lifting his arm in front of Leo's chest.

“Woah, woah! No fighting, guys. Let’s try to deal with this like gentlemen, okay?”

“Can I ask what that serum was meant to be or do in the first place?”

Donatello asked as calmly as he could - and Bishop gladly filled him with information. After all they both were scientists.

“You want to know? Very well. It was created to be used on humans, who would have become super strong humans. Pretty much like your brother there have become more stronger turtle. Am I right?”

“Yes.”

“But the experiment and serum failed. Instead of making my human subjects powerful, it turned them into ‘aggressive and blood thirsty vampires’ so to say. They were mindless and out of control, attacking on anything what moved. We managed to improve the serum, but it still wasn’t good enough. Those subjects still lost their control if they saw blood.”

“That’s what happened to Raph.”

“Interesting. Shall we do a small test?”

Before any of boys could say anything, Bishop took small knife form his pocket and cut his palm open, pointing it towards Raphael. Instantly big turtle stood all tall, breathing fast and hard through his nose. His body trembled as his mind fought against his urges to launch forward and suck that red blood, eat his hand.

Feeling a warm hold on his hand made Raphael look down. Leonardo was holding his hand while keeping his stone cold look on his face, eyes locked on their enemy. This eased Raphael’s trembling body and mind. Letting out a loud and deep sigh, Raphael turned his eyes back on Bishop who’s wound was now covered - thanks to paramedic who was there for a reason.

“That’s extremely interesting. He has learn to control his urge to attack when seeing blood.”

“We trained him a lot but yes, we all are very proud of him for what he has achieve.”

“Hmh. Let me ask something, turtles. You have one of the most powerful mutants in your family now. Why you want to cure him?”

“We want our brother back! His outlook reminds us about Raphael, but he’s not our true brother. This isn’t what he wanted!”

“So he didn’t took the serum himself?”

“No… I gave an order to give it to him... To save his life.”

“Aaah, touching. And now you feel bad and try to do the right thing. Very well, I have an antidote, but before giving it I want something back.”

“Let’s hear it first before we say anything.”

Leo’s heart hammered in his chest as he waited Bishop’s offer, feeling Raphael’s hold getting more tight while they still were holding hands. Fast look from the corner of his eye told Leonardo Raphael was afraid. The same thought had crossed Leo’s mind too; Bishop most surely would like to have Raphael to do more tests... But that wasn't going to happen.

“Judging by the look on your face you think I want your brother.”

“Yes. Don’t you?”

“As the matter of fact…. I don’t.”

All 4 of them turned to look each other and then Bishop in surprise.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t need his full body or anything.”

Snapping his fingers one of his servants brought Bishop a small glass bottle.

“Just this bottle of his blood will be enough. That serum in his blood have a memory and it most surely has learned to control its urge for blood. I can separate that serum from his blood and then create more serum, mixing the serum from your brother's blood with it. It can spread knowledge to new serum. After all that I can inject it on my human subjects and see what happens since the original serum has been in mutant turtle’s body, not in human.”

Looking at his brothers who slowly nodded to him, Leo nodded to Bishop.

“Very well, we agree on that. But first...” 

Leonardo reached his hand towards the agent.

“The antidote. I will not inject it in Raphael until you have got your blood from him.”

“If you do, you will not leave here alive.”

“I’m fully aware of that. Donnie.”

Don nodded as he started to walk towards Bishop, being extra careful since you never knew what Bishop had in mind. One member from Bishop’s lab brought yellow serum in syringe to the scene - and was now handing it to Don with empty bottle. Donatello calmly took them both, returning back to his brother while Michelangelo covered Raphael’s eyes. Leonardo stood there watching that everything went like agreed.

When bottle was full, Donatello took a roll of gauze from his satchel, wrapping it around Raphael’s arm where he took the blood. When his olive green brother stood up, heading back to Bishop, Leonardo thought of stopping him - but instead he kept his mouth shut. Watching Donatello handing his brother’s blood to Bishop was one of the hardest thing what the turtles had ever watched. 

When Bishop had firm hold of it, and Donnie had the yellow serum in return, he returned back to his brothers. Leonardo turned to Don once more, nodding when Donatello was knelt in front of Raphael.

“Okay, Raph, this will sting.”

“P-pain??”

Raphael was clearly trembling since the memories of his first, and painful, mutation washed over his mind and body. Leonardo and Michelangelo had to force Raphael to sit on the floor, rubbing his shoulders in a calming way.

“No, this won’t hurt. This will cure you. I promise.”

It was fatal thing to promise since Don had no proof it, indeed, would heal his brother, but he needed to be comforted. Taking deep breath to calm himself genius moved a bit closer, inserting needle in Raphael’s arm’s vein, slowly pushing yellow serum in his bloodstream.

It felt like time stopped and nothing happened. Anger in boys started to rose since they felt being tricked, but Bishop assured them to wait a while more - and soon enough Raphael started to hold his body whimpering in pain, getting on his knees.

“Raphael!”

“Raph!”

“Bro!”

All 3 of them were next to him in a second, filled with worry as their brother in pain started to make gag sounds, finally starting to throw up on the floor. Tears rolled down between tightly shut eyelids as weird purple serum balls were coming out with his vomit. Looking up at Bishop, Donatello demanded answers.

“If you must know, that antidote is still an experiment and so far it has work only with rats. I’m most happy to see this myself.”

“I didn’t ask that!”

“Fine, you impatient turtle. That serum gathers all little cells and bits of previous serum in his stomach from his blood and muscles, turning them into balls what are easier to vomit out. It’s painful and his body is healing from the serum’s burns what it might do while cleaning his body, but he will survive.”

Sobbing and gagging Raphael whimpered between knelt Leo and Mikey, who both were rubbing his arms and shell, realizing Raphael’s form had started to shrink. Finally having a chance to breath more Raph gasped for air, panting heavily and hard, vomiting finally coming to an end.

“Raphael? You hear us?”

“Are you okay?”

All three of them helped Raphael on his feet, supporting him. When those yellow, but bloodshot, eyes met theirs, they all smiled in relief. They instantly just saw, felt and knew their Raph was back. Mikey was the first one to give his hot-head bro big hug but, Raphael’s painful inhale made him step back apologizing.

Leonardo left Raph in Don and Mikey’s care, focusing on Bishop.

“I thank you for helping our brother.”

Bowing deep down to Bishop Leo showed respect, thankfulness and gratitude to his enemy. Standing tall once again he continued;

“I wish we don’t have to do business with you ever again and that you will leave us alone. We aren’t hurting people, we are protecting them.”

“We will see all that, turtle. We will see...”

Turning around Bishop disappeared into the darkness of his base with his men, allowing the turtles returned back home - relieved to have Raphael back with them. Splinter gave Raphael most heart warming 'welcome home' hug with a smile - and Raphael only smiled faintly. It seemed he was extremely tired and exhausted - and in a little bit of pain because of that ‘cleaning’ serum so they all decided to go in TV area to talk.

Splinter took his own seat, Don took his across Splinter while Mikey sat on the floor. Leonardo and Raphael took the couch. Sitting on another end Raphael slowly laid on his side, resting his head on Leo’s thigh, his brother drawing slowly a gentle circle on his arm. It was very soothing and made Raphael close his eyes, but he fought back against sleep since he wanted to hear what his family was talking about.

“I’m so relieved this was so easy in the end!”

“I agree with you, Mikey, but at the same time I’m worried since Bishop now have that mutant serum from Raphael’s blood.”

Seeing his two younger brothers smirking at each other made Leo raise his brow.

“Actually, Leo ~”

“It was Mikey’s blood, not Raph’s.”

“Huh?”

“Before we left the lair I found empty glass bottle and my intuition screamed me to take and fill it with blood so I called Mikey in my lab to help me - and we agreed we would use his blood.”

“And when Don was taking blood from Raph in Bishop’s bottle, he sneaked full bottle inside of his wrist band, taking that other bottle out where was my blood.”

Mikey giggled and gave high three to Donnie who laughed as well.

“So… This means...”

“Yup! Bishop isn’t having any of that serum!” Mikey smiled widely.

“But even that Raphael vomited it all out, it was left on Bishop’s base’s floor. Can’t he just collect it from there?”

“Nope since I noticed how those balls broke into a dust and vanished right almost instantly when they came to contact with air. So we literally left Bishop empty handed and cured Raphael.”

“How is he doing by the way?”

Mikey asked as he crawled to sit in front of Leo and Raph. Leo smiled while looking down at Raphael’s face.

“I think he’s sleeping. He has go through so much.”

“Sleeping beauty ~”

Emerald green hand made fast move and a slap sound was heard. Those golden eyes opened to half and his eyes sparked with annoyance towards Mikey.

“I show ya sleeping beauty when I get my ass off on this couch.”

They all shared small laugh together, Leo feeling all happy inside. Yep, their hot-head was definitely back.

–

Few hours later, after turtles had left, Bishop went into his lab, handing over a bottle of turtle’s blood to his worker who started to work on it instantly. He tried to separate serum from the blood. Much for their surprise nothing came out.

“Sir, this blood doesn’t have any serum in it.”

“What?! Let me see!”

Bishop rushed to his lab worker, taking a look of the blood under the microscope - and sure thing, it was perfectly clean blood.

“… They tricked me…! No! NOOOOO!”

THE END!

***********************************

 **EDIT:**  
This next part was originally part of the fic (before Bishop's end part), but I decided to remove it from the fic and add it here at the end because; 1. I knew it didn't really fit in the fic, but added it anyway and 2. People have complained about this part, saying it felt rushed and forced.

I admit that back then, when I wrote this fic 3,5 years ago, I forced this scene in the fic. I apologize that. Here's the cut scene:

**

Splinter had withdraw into his room for the night already, Michelangelo also was long gone in his room. Faint light shined from Don’s lab where the genius still was awake or fallen asleep in front of his computer - which happened way too often. In TV shows' lights Leonardo still was sitting on his place, sleeping Raphael keeping his head in his lap.

His blue eyes were tired and he wanted to go to sleep, but he just didn’t have a heart to wake Raphael up after all what he had gone through. However faint whisper reached his ears under low TV’s sounds.

“Ya awake, Leo?”

“Yeah. Sorry if TV’s sounds woke you up. I couldn’t reach the remote.”

“It’s okay. I have been awake a while already. I just… didn’t want ta get up yet.”

Sensing his brother had something in his chest what needed to be said, Leo started to draw that comforting circle on Raph’s arm once more, but it only made Raph turn on his carapace, locking his eyes with Leo’s.

“Leo, I… I just...”

Seeing it wasn’t easy for Raph to start to talk, Leo decided to make his move. He bend down as much as he could, sealing Raphael in a loving hug, pressing his face gently against Raph’s.

“It’s okay. I understand.”

Was this silent whisper what made Raphael’s hear beat harder and warmed inside his chest. Raising his hands behind Leo’s neck, Raph answered to Leo’s hug.

“Ya understand nothing.”

Leo felt how Raphael moist his lips with his tongue before continuing their talking with silent whispers.

“Thank ya for keeping your promise. For helping me, bringing me back. I… I… I want ta say so much and yet my mind’s so blank.”

“Then don’t try to think and form words. Just let it all out. Here’s only the two of us so no one else will hear us.”

Encouraged by Leo’s hold and words, Raph found courage to let out his thoughts. Tightening his hold around Leo, Raph pressed his face more against that warm light green skin.

“Ya saved me… Despite the fact I made ya fear me. I ain’t deserving ta be here and cured. I didn’t deserve ya ta save me and yet ya did it.”

“Of course I did. You are very important part of this family, very much loved brother and friend. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“I’m so sorry about everything, Leo. So many things and words what I regret saying and doing ta ya.”

“They are past so don’t worry. There were moments when you couldn’t help yourself.”

“I know, but...”

Raphael’s voice was even tinier and trembling. It was obvious to Leonardo his brother was holding back his tears.

“… It just ain’t fucking fair.”

“Listen, I was afraid of you… Part of me still slightly is and I’m sure I will keep having nightmares about you in your other form, but I won’t let it to stop me anymore. Of being your big brother and being there for you. I love you.”

Feeling blush crawl on his cheeks Raphael nodded, turning his head just enough for their lips gently to touch each other. This sudden move made Leo pull away, staring with wide eyes down at his worried brother.

“S-sorry! Didn’t mean ta do that… I mean… I meant ta do it, but not ta scare ya. J-just that what ya said… It just made me want ta do that s-since it would be better message than my horrible words.”

Leonardo couldn’t help, but to smile to his brother, knowing perfectly well what he was trying to say. Bending back down Leo sealed Raph’s lips with his, giving him long and gentle kiss.

“You know… I think I like this direction where things are going, perhaps too fast as well, but still. … As long as you won’t ever threat to eat me I think I can managed you.”

Raphael smirked at his brother, gently staring into those blue orbs.

“Don’t know about that, Fearless, since if we go in that direction where I think we are going, I might wanna ‘eat’ ya if ya know what I mean.”

Gasping Leo pushed Raphael on the floor, jumping on his feet.

“How dare you? We just shared our first kiss and you are already suggesting such things.”

While still laying on the floor, Raphael started to laugh silently since it was hilarious to see how red his brother’s face was - not to mention his reaction to such playful suggestion. Getting on his feet still chuckling Raphael took a hold on Leo’s chin, smiling at him.

“Come on, don’t pout at me like that. It cheered us up and improved the mood ta better, didn’t it?”

Raphael was right, the mood and atmosphere had changed to the better, a lot better, and Leo gladly accepted it. No need to swell in bad feelings of the past since the moment was here and now. Taking a step closer Leo pressed his palms on Raph’s chest, looking deep in those golden eyes.

“Okay then, I’m in the game. Where do you want to sleep; On the couch, in your hammock or in my bed with me?”

“Such lame choices ya gave ta me. I thought ya would had suggest some romantic cabin in Japan’s mountain area with hot spring. But since ya ain’t offering me any of that, yet, I have ta go with my hammock.”

“A hammock? Really?”

“Yeah. I love ta rock myself ta sleep.”

“I could sing you a lullaby in my bed.”

Raphael’s laugh turned a bit louder as he started to escort Leo towards the stairs.

“Ya singing would mean the end of the world.”

“Hey, my voice isn’t all that bad! … I think.”

“Nothing wrong with your voice, bro, but ya just can’t sing.”

“How about reading a bed time story?”

“From one of your war strategy books? No thanks.”

“Awh, come on, Raph. Come to sleep with me in my bed. I wouldn’t beg you normally, but I promised you I would make it up for you that I wasn’t there for you when you needed me. I want to be there for you now as much as I can.”

“Even by forcing me into your bed?”

“Yes.”

Stopping at the top of the stairs Raph sighed looking at this brother, who had slightly strict and pouting expression on his face. It made him smile since he remembered a time when Leo had had exactly the same expression when they were younger. In that day Raph had found first playboy magazine in the sewers and Leo had found him looking at it - pouting at him, saying he would tell about it to Splinter.

“Okay fine, but I wanna take few of my playboy magazines with me in your room.”

“You will NOT bring those dirty magazines in my room.”

Raphael laughed again. He just loved to tease Leo since he now remembered it how Leo didn’t like those magazines and didn’t want them in his pure sanctuary.

“Chill, fearless, just teasing ya.”

“Just drag your ass in there and shut up.”

Turning on his heels Leo marched in his room, Raph following him with small smirk on his lips. He would so enjoy this. And if the sings were right, their night would become long teasing night instead of having a sleep at all.<

Deep in his mind Raphael knew all this was good for Leo, even that it pissed him slightly. This way Raph could build back the same trust what they'd had before he mutated. This way he could help Leo to start to be relaxed with him without any fears. It might would be a long road depending on Leo’s nightmares about him, but he would be there to assure his brother, and perhaps now also a lover, he is back to his normal self and would never hurt him.

Finally reaching Leo’s room, Leo already was laying on the bed on his side.

“I thought you were going to sleep in your hammock.”

“And I thought ya would have try ta be even a little bit more seductive while being there on the bed.”

“?? Oh, you mean like this?”

Leo smirked as he laid on his carapace, slowly opening his legs wider while sucking his lower lip, his hands slowly traveling on his thighs. Blush flooded on Raph's cheeks as he watched his brother who now was also making seductive moans, looking -ah-so sweet and hot.

“Y-ya better stop that or ya have ta deal with my boner.”

Laughing shortly Leo rolled on his stomach, playfully swinging his legs in the air.

“And what if I want to see it?”

Slowly closing the door behind his back, Raphael made his way to Leonardo who moved a bit closed on his stomach, placing soft kiss on Raphael’s stomach area.

“Ya know ya are playing a dangerous game...”

“Perhaps I just want something wonderful to think about. Something wonderful to remember, connect to and with you. A wonderful moment to wake up to, next to you in the morning, seeing your sleeping face and kiss it.”

Sitting up Leo crossed his legs, taking hold of Raphael’s hands.

“I promised I would make it all up to you.”

“Yeah I know, but it ain’t have ta be anything like this if ya don’t want ta. I just said it all as a joke.”

"So did I, but… now I really would like to go for it. After all I... I've been having these secret feelings and thoughts about you for years.”

Raphael was silent a moment, letting Leo's words roll in his head. He didn't want to admit it, but he had been having the same feelings towards Leonardo for years as well. But there was no way he would admit them out loud - so he ignored that part, focusing on other thing instead.

“By 'go for it' ya mean sex?”

“Well, not so far.”

Leo chuckled with blush.

“I joked about your boner, but everything after that I meant. I want to kiss and cuddle with you, fall asleep in your arms and wake up in them in the in the morning, see your face at first and kiss you. I think it would be perfect way to start to --”

“No need ta say it. I know what ya mean.” Crawling next to Leo on his bed after stripping himself free from his gears, Raphael pulled Leo on his arms, kissing him gently.

“But do ya really think this will work and help ya?”

“I have a very good feeling it will.”

“If ya say so.”

Two oldest turtles stayed awake for hours holding each other, talking about everything what had happened and how they had felt, still felt and thought. Talking about all of it helped them to feel even more better, and tired. Wishing each others good night and giving kisses, they both fell in very peaceful sleep. To Leonardo it was luxury, and he would make sure he would get such luxury sleeps every night for now on. No more nightmares about being eaten by Raph.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit this wasn't my best fic and it was horribly written, but I still liked the idea behind it. I also admit that it may have been too soon / sudden to make Raph and Leo a couple at the end of this fic, but that part was not planned - it just happened :'D
> 
> I hope you still managed to enjoy this old fic of mine.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! :D


End file.
